Author Topic: Going through family photos  (Read 5642 times)

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1219
    • View Profile
Going through family photos
« on: July 29, 2012, 06:34:48 PM »
I have not been able to go through family photos, since like forever. Between Adam's demise, Kaiti's issues, all it made me do is cry. However, we had a major flood (1,100 gallons of water poured into my basement) and have to go through 37 years of marital accumulation that has been mostly stored in my basement, which includes my photo albums. I divided a lot of pix up to give away. I am going to make each of my children an album for  them and try to keep only 1 album for Craig & I. Of course the pix's of Adam bring me to my knees, but better to look then try to ignore. I never thought that I would be able to part with some of his pictures to give to others in the family but I did so I can keep him out there, in the forefront of the families memories of my beautiful boy.
Question: does it give you pain or pleasure to look at the photo's?
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

Jeanie's Mom

  • nospam
  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 62
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2012, 08:03:53 PM »
Both pleasure and pain ..... mostly I ache for more pictures.. she never lived to be 10 wish I had pictures of her at 10 years old 11 years old and so on.. wish I had those pictures... I ache for the pictures that should have been.

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1219
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2012, 05:47:27 AM »
My husband is profoundly sad after seeing some of the photos. He asked how I could not be even more depressed after seeing them? I dunno, for me, yesterday, was like once-in-a-lifetime event as normally I can't even bear the thought of going near them. Now that he became weepy and upset, so did I.
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

AC Mom

  • nospam
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 199
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2012, 07:09:44 AM »
I have pictures on my walls of AC thru the years.  I have always found comfort in the pictures of all loved ones that have crossed over.  I feel closer to them having them around me. 

Yes, thinking about when those pictures were taken, brings back memories, and sometimes makes me sad.  And like Jeannies Mom said, makes me ache for pictures that could have been.

In our family we have had a lot of young as well as old people deaths, and my niece keeps family pictures out.  She has what she calls a memory wall in her house, its pictures of those that have crossed over.  She says it keeps her kids in touch with relatives  they should have met and didn't.

Love and Hugs
Peggy

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2012, 09:05:37 AM »

With both the pictures and the videos it's always different when and even how long I can view them. Since Dad died in December it's been very difficult to view any family photos as Michelle and Jeff are in almost all of them. I have family here that are leaving tomorrow instead of today (due to the weather) and they brought down a lot of pictures (and some video) and we've been sharing memories and although they brought a lot of smiles, they also brought a lot of tears. :(

You have my heart, Paula.

Love,
Terry

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1219
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2012, 01:07:16 PM »
Today, I tackled my hope chest. It was filled with homemade blanket sets, sweaters, quilts that mostly my Mom and other family members handmade for my babies. !st outfits (coming home from the hospital newborn clothes), 1st holiday outfits, etc). What really rocked my world was Adam's newborn coming outfit and a decopague (sp?) placque I had made up with a promise of G-d's blessing to watch over him. I still cannot stop crying. It's so unfair.
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

SarahW

  • nospam
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 316
  • The moment a child is born,the mother is also born
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2012, 05:30:14 PM »
I mostly like looking at pictures of Vincent.

He was such a gift, and the fact that he's been taken from me doesn't change the fact that I was lucky enough to have him in my life for almost 30 years.  So I can still enjoy the good memories and feel warmth from them.

But I do cry.
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. -- Emily Dickinson

You were a gift

brownie

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 24
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2012, 07:46:34 AM »
 As for me it is hard to go through pictures of my kids and seeing how much fun they had when they were little. The smiles and the sparkles in their eyes. The pictures with their cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents. I to am blessed and thankful I got to have my son Joe for 24 years and 13 days. We have his pictures all over the house. Hanging on the wall and sitting on the entertainment center, next to a little toy tractor. He loved tractors. I have his picture on my computer screen, and each night as I shut down my computer, just before the screen goes black I say, { I LOVE YOU JOE, GOODNIGHT} Joe's birthday is coming up in 2 months and I know  it is going to be a difficult day. Worse then the ones I am going through now. Then 13 days after his birthday is the day he passed away and that day will be the hardest. Reliving the the minutes up to the time of the accident. I wish I could get that horrible image out of my head. It just wont go away. Somedays I seem like I a little bit better then ok and then I think about my son and then I start getting sad and wishing he was still here. Somedays the grief is so overwhelming. Then I think I have to move on. It is what Joe would want me to do. Like he was telling me its ok mom, I'm fine.

Thank you for listening,

Joe's mom

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1219
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2012, 06:27:29 PM »
((Joe's Mom)) - always have time to listen. My heart goes out to you.
XO Paula
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

brownie

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 24
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2012, 05:36:35 PM »
Thank you very very much Paula and to you...

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2012, 06:26:06 PM »
Joe's birthday is coming up in 2 months and I know  it is going to be a difficult day. Worse then the ones I am going through now. Then 13 days after his birthday is the day he passed away and that day will be the hardest. Reliving the the minutes up to the time of the accident. I wish I could get that horrible image out of my head. It just wont go away.

(((((Brownie))))) The days and even weeks sometimes leading up to their dates are unforgiving. Mostly, I have good memories throughout my days but there are times when I can smell nothing but the death from the sheets in the ER from when my oldest son died and no matter what I try to do (and I can get pretty creative) it just won't go away. So, I've learned to just feel that awful pain...the intensity of it and the time comes when it eases up a bit and then I'm back to the good memories. It's such a roller coaster of emotions and I believe always will be.

I don't believe we ever recover or completely heal from the trauma of our children dying rather we learn to live with the pain, knowing that it doesn't go away but we do learn to manage it.

Always here for you,
Love,
Terry

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1219
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2012, 08:21:01 PM »
Your words are always so wise Terry. Thank you for caring to share your innermost feelings with us.
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

brownie

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 24
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2012, 05:12:34 PM »
I always try to think of the great memories of having my son here with us all. I will never forget those. Somedays it is unbearable. I do force myself to overcome the grieving. I never could imagine the pain of someone losing their child, and now I know first hand. Boy does it suck realy suck. You hear about people " killing" their own children. How could anyone in their  own mind do something like that? And here we are grieving over our children that passed away, and we couldn't stop it. I feel for all you that has lost your child {ren}, I send my love to you all and if my arms were long enough and hugs also. What helps though is people that knew my son we always say something about him. I like to hear other people talk about him. It puts a big smile on my face and also tears in my eyes. He made quite a impact on a lot of people. The thing was he was a shy young man. Once you got him talking he never stopped. {laughing, tears}
Thank you for the good words,
Love Joe's Mom

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2012, 10:20:21 PM »

I am always comforted by friend's of my son who share stories about him that I was never aware of. Some are so funny and it's nice that they always remember him. Sometimes we feel that others forget but I don't think they do. They just have more of a reason to share of them when they are around us and when my ears are ringing, I also know that's because someone, somewhere is talking about my Jeff.

I love the picture of Joe. What does his shirt say? I was trying to figure it out but never quite did. :)

Hugs back atcha'!! ((((((((((Brownie))))))))))

Love,
Terry

brownie

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 24
    • View Profile
Re: Going through family photos
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2012, 04:51:59 PM »
I still have that shirt. It says something about reading. Something like hooked on reading. Thank you Terry