Author Topic: Missing her is killing me  (Read 3984 times)

Zylen

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Missing her is killing me
« on: July 24, 2012, 02:40:21 PM »
...
« Last Edit: August 21, 2013, 10:41:34 AM by Zylen »

MyLou

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2012, 05:05:28 PM »
((((((((((((((( Kevin )))))))))))))))


I feel the same  :tearyeyed:

I am so sorry for all your pain and all of us.

Only if I had that magic wand it would be all better.

No need to thank me and thank you for being there for me and my friend

Hoping for better days ahead.

Sending, love, peace and hugs your way always.

Always

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

gaberax

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2012, 05:42:30 AM »
(((((Kevin)))))

I can appreciate how you feel.  Days drag by.  It's hard to hold onto order when the whole world is out of order, so little things "pile up."  I still look for her when I walk down the street.  The disappointment, the re-acknowledgement that she no longer lives, still hurts...every time.

I am going to see my doctor for recurring back spasms that I never had before.  It started with small twinges when she was first sick. Now, I can barely move in the evenings.  Friends and family say that it is stress.  I told the lady that I am dating that if it is something more serious I want her to walk away.  I don't want her to go through what I went through.

I am dating again but feel guilty about it.  Mostly because I think of Denise non-stop.  I try not to compare but I do. It isn't fair and I know it.

It is like I am half-alive.  Going through most of the motions but not invested in how things turn out.  I don't care if I win or lose. I don't fear loss.  I don't fear death. 

I , too, feel as if I am biding my time.  I hope to see her again but no longer believe in much "spiritual" anymore.  How can I?  Why should I? It is easier to not believe in God, Jesus, Heaven and the rest than to imagine there is a God with some big "Plan" in which I am a part.  And part of the "Plan" was to take Denise from me like this.  It took me all my life to find her and then He takes her from me?  Nah, He doesn't exist.

In the big scope of things it doesn't matter.  In the end I will close my eyes and the pain will end.

Despite this gloomy response, I hope you feel better.  I hope you find joy again.  I hope we all do.

stampingwidow

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2012, 06:08:49 AM »
My heart goes out to you in this time of acute suffering.  The lack of motivation, the lack of caring about the world around us is a normal part of grief.  Just take a day at a time.  Thinking of the whole picture is too overwhelming!  I too get lost in all the details so my plan is to start making a list for my self in an attempt to get myself on track.   There is a certain satisfaction in crossing things off of a list.  I have been floating thru life, avoiding unpleasant tasks.  What I have learned is those darn tasks do not go away!  Sometimes they get worse do to neglect!  I am trying to get myself back on track.  I have decided that at this point I am stuck here, in my grief.  I can stay stuck in this miserable grief stricken condition or I can work to find a new normal and cope with it.  Our lives will never go back to the old normal.  We need to find a new normal and make it as pleasant as we can.  Grief is a lot of hard work.  I wish you healing & peace as you work on finding your new normal.

Terry

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2012, 08:25:22 AM »

((((((((((((Kevin))))))))))))

browneyedgirl

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2012, 09:25:49 AM »
(((((((((((Kevin, Lisa, Bob, Stampingwidow)))))))))))))
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

hixguy

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2012, 01:31:35 PM »
It is the pits isnt it.  I also have found that everything I use to enjoy, everything I thought was important, no longer is without her in my life.  I enjoy nothing alone and see no point being alive now.  True love does not happen often or easily....look at the divorce rate.  I find it much harder to make even casual friends t now because most people have children or established friendships and have no time or interest for new friends. I always thought that the worse possible event in my life would be my death;  I was wrong.  The worse possible scenario is to be alive but all alone.  But not just anyone will do or nobody in this world would be lonely.  It must be someone compatible and easier said then done to connect with that person especially now that many of us are older and retired.  I now see my death as a great relief and not something to fear.
Wish I could help you and everyone else here with some magical cure for our sadness, but it does not exist.  Andy

MyLou

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2012, 05:50:15 PM »
((((((((((((((((((( ALL )))))))))))))))))

This thread just brings me to tears like others do too.

This journey stinks, stinks and stinks UGH


I always feared death but not any longer ......

I just wish so wish we can have PEACE if nothing at all
« Last Edit: July 25, 2012, 05:52:57 PM by MyLou »
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

Jean D

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2012, 06:51:03 PM »
Amen, Lisa. Amen.

Hugs to all of us.

mshaynes

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2012, 09:29:52 PM »
((((Kevin))))

I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. Everyone here feels it with you, in our way, for our own loss. But shared misery is still misery. Some days the hell is more hellish than others. Some days, though, aren't so bad. Here's hoping (and praying?) for more of those easier days for us all.

"What's the point?" has been the theme of the past 2 posts I've read here. And I understand fully. It all does seem to matter so little, until I think of my grandson. I have custody of him. My late wife was not just his grandmother, but his primary parent. Ivan needs me. He is what keeps me going and gives me reason. All of us would do well to remember the other special people in our lives that love us and need us. Find your reason to go on in them.
May she gaze upon you, Lord, face to face, and taste the blessedness of perfect rest. May angels surround her, and saints welcome her in peace. Let us also pray for all who mourn, that they may cast their care on God, and know the consolation of his love.

Terry

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Re: Missing her is killing me
« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2012, 10:43:11 PM »
"What's the point?" has been the theme of the past 2 posts I've read here. And I understand fully. It all does seem to matter so little, until I think of my grandson. I have custody of him. My late wife was not just his grandmother, but his primary parent. Ivan needs me. He is what keeps me going and gives me reason. All of us would do well to remember the other special people in our lives that love us and need us. Find your reason to go on in them.

I see a lot of very loving, very caring and hurting people opening their hearts and showing compassion to one another. I think the people on these boards are the strongest people I know. It takes a lot of courage, especially when we're in that very dark place to reach out and write those feelings down. I commend anyone who shares those very strong feelings.

Thank You to all for always being here for me.

((((((((All))))))))

Love,
Terry