Hi Peggy,
Yes, part of the problem here is that Chuck said he didn't want a funeral, like how AC felt. Add that to the fact that his widow is a wreck and so the family is doing nothing. HOWEVER...many people, family and many friends and colleagues knew and loved Chuck very much. I know there are a lot of people out there suffering because they cannot mourn him together through what we in western culture call a 'funeral'. The 'outer ring' of the family (ie: those outside Chuck and Pam's immediate family) like Pam's siblings and spouses (which includes Barry and I and others), and then there's Chuck's siblings and their families, there's Pam's mother Betty (Chuck's parents are gone), there are cousins, aunts, uncles, and then, as I said, many, many friends and colleagues - all left out in the cold with nothing to hang onto but our own private grief and aloneness. Our sadness, our grief means nothing to Chuck's family and that hurts. I know it's early days but they have definitely decided that there will be nothing. No funeral. No memorial.
I am trying to stay strong but this is something that I NEVER expected and the hurt, shock and grief that hit me yesterday is esculating and I'm trying to keep myself under control - somehow strong for Barry and his mother Betty. I have already sent off sympathy cards (that I made - I'm an artist) to Pam and her two children's families.
Thank you for being there Peggy , Seven, Pam, Terry Doug and everyone. I know I'm not the only one suffering here.