Author Topic: It doesn't seem real....  (Read 2505 times)

Bonjeans

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It doesn't seem real....
« on: June 22, 2012, 06:06:03 PM »
I'm new to the site as I lost my dad on Aoril 28, 2012 (my 16th wedding anniversary with my husband)....after a horrific battle in the hospital for 44 days that we still don't really have the answers for what has happened to him. It is really my first experience with grief. I lost my grandparents when I was much younger but I felt more for my parents at the time than I did for myself.   My mom received over one hundred cards after dad passed - a real tribute to the man he was. He was there for everything and he was a gentle man and we just don't understand why he would have been taken from us in the way that he was?

My mom is trying hard, I know she is but she struggles every day and my heart breaks for her....any advice would be greatly appreciated. Everyone here seems so special - I know I will be glad I discovered this site.

My dad's birthday is October 24, 1933 - a true Scorpian was he!

SistersinCanada

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Re: It doesn't seem real....
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2012, 08:23:42 PM »
Hi
I am so very sorry for your loss.  Dad's are so special, teaching us to ride our bikes,  fly a kite or walking us down the aisle at our wedding.
I know you are feeling sorrow like nothing you've ever felt, it's physically painful.  Who would believe
we could feel this awful?  Just take it one day at a time, or one hour at a time if that's all you can do.
I know you're worried about your mom but take care of yourself too.  Cling to each other, cry, yell,
whatever it takes.  It's a journey no one wants to take but unfortunately we don't have a choice.
Pour out your heart here.  Everyone understands and tries to help. It's still so fresh for you but know it does
get easier.  My sister who died in April 2011 used to tell me about a saying she liked.  It read "As we are crying
here on earth as someone is passing, the people waiting for them in heaven are smiling, saying here she comes."
I think of that and picture my mom and dad welcoming her with open arms.  I still can't believe she's gone and
I miss her every minute of every day.  I can't believe a year has gone by and I won't ever see her again.
Many people who I never would have believed had gone through the same thing have reached out to me.
I guess that's the silver lining if there is such a thing.
I hope you have a loving, supportive spouse who can help you along the way.
Terry

Bonjeans

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Re: It doesn't seem real....
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2012, 08:33:00 PM »
Terry,
Thank you. What a beautiful response and I love your sisters "saying" - I will take it with me. I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your sister...and yes, going through it myself allows me the chance to really feel for others like ever before.  Please tell me more about her...

I, fortunately, had the opportunity during the last days of my dad's life to put together a video to music of all the wonderful pictures we had of him. Do you know, he was ALWAYS smiling. As he passed on my anniversary I said I will always remember how happy he was that day - he was so proud as I am his only daughter - I have four brothers.

The hard part is, he got sick on March 15th became unresponsive on March 16th so, the last time I spoke to him was probably March 13 or 14....so, the grieving has been very tough since it started many days before he actually died.

Every time I think of Dad, I smile because he was a wonderful man...I just wish I could give him one more hug!
Thank you again -
Bonnie

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: It doesn't seem real....
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2012, 02:04:53 PM »

Hi Bonjeans - I'm sorry to hear of the death of your Dad. My Dad just died in December after a long battle with Alzheimer's.

Welcome to Webhealing and thanks for sharing your story with us. Post any time, there's always someone here to listen.

Please take care of yourself as grief can really zap us. I'm glad to know you have the support of your spouse. I look forward to hearing more about your Dad when you feel up to sharing about him.

Again, I am so sorry. Please know I understand how stinging the finality of death can be, both to our hearts and our souls.

We're always here for you, with love,
Terry

browneyedgirl

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Re: It doesn't seem real....
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2012, 11:06:30 AM »
Welcome Bonnie ~ I am so very sorry for the loss of your Dad.  You have come to the right place, we are all here for you and we all understand. 

Come back soon and let us know how you're doing and tell us more about your Dad. 
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

browneyedgirl

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Re: It doesn't seem real....
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2012, 09:57:48 AM »
Bonnie - how are you doing?
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven