((((((Lisa))))))
I totally understand, and am so sorry for you and all of us. I have thought the same things everyday. It is so hard to think of a future without the one we love. You are being too hard on yourself, a year is too soon. I think I had a preconcived notion that I would be ok in a year just because of all the advice you hear. Dont make any major decisions and blah, blah, blah. In reality, I believe the year mark is just the tip of the iceberg, there is still a long way to go. I try to find a little joy in what I have, my cats, my new puppy and my memories of Joe, and go with the flow. Maybe someday I will want more from life, but for now I dont push myself. To make yourself "live life again" if you truely dont feel it in your heart would just be going through the motions. You have a wonderful soul that has made us laugh and smile, you may not live life as you had before but you are still a special person.