Hello,
My father passed away on May 4,2012. I joined this site in 2004, when my mother passed away and found this site and it's members to be tremendously helpful. My mother passed away suddenly and I had found it extremely difficult to deal with. Once again, I am finding myself in the web of grief, but I am finding it vastly different than I did with my mother. I had been extremely close to my mother, and when she died, I was left
to assist a father who I wasn't particularly close to. It was over the past 7 and a half years, that I got closer to my dad, just by visiting with him and helping him where I could as he had an extensive physical disability.
I have several siblings, but I am estranged from one sibling. This sibling has inherited the family business. My parents had always been frugal, and any income made at all, was generated back into the family business. My brother would never visit my father(nor mother prior to her passing) even though he lived next door. Three and a half years ago, my father was placed in a nursing home, as he could no longer be cared for at home, and this brother did not visit my father during that time,except for two family events when my father first entered the home. After my father suffered a stroke a month ago, my brother was called to come to say goodbye to my father but he refused. On the day of the funeral, he missed the majority of the visitation, as he was meeting with his lawyers. Some of my siblings feel resentment towards him, and two accept him as he is.
I just want to be able to let go of the resentment myself.
The other thing I wanted to mention is that people will either say,"Sorry for your loss," or nothing at all, but invariably the subject is changed immediately, and I somehow feel that I wish life would just sometimes stand still, so that my dad isn't forgotten in all of this. I know the cliche that life carries on, but it just seems that a lot of things seem overwhelming right now and there is no time to process my feelings. Thanks for listenning.