(((((((((Mommysbabygirl))))))))
I'm so sorry things aren't going well for you right now. I understand doing 'things' to feel better or even, just different. The pain can get to us, sometimes.
I've been having a hard time lately. I wan't to cry, but can't seem to do it. I just want to sleep all the time, I get to work late, and when I am there I stare off into space for most of the day. I someone still get my work done. I have no motivation to do much of anything. No appetite. I feel like I am going backwards instead of getting better. I'm second guessing myself and i'm paranoid all the time. I fake being happy or excited about things because that's what your suppose to do. I feel like maybe I'm not trying hard enough to feel better. Why does everyone else appears ok with the loss and I'm struggling. I eat to feel better. I shop to feel better. I am in a relationship with someone that I would have never said 2 words to. I sometimes wonder why he is even with me. I don't stand up for myself so I think he and others take advantage of that. I'm too depressed to see it and too scared to change it.
When is the last time you had a physical? I ask because grief can zap our immune systems and knock us off balance, physically as well as emotionally. If you're not eating and feeling worse than you have been, I would definitely think about getting checked out by your family doctor. You have to eat or you'll get very sick.
Everyone appears OK because their world hasn't been thrown upside down, the way ours has. It's hard for others to relate to the deep pain we are in and makes it difficult for us to share with those close to us. Wearing that mask and pretending that everything is alright, get's old real quick. It's important that we talk about our feelings and if there's no one there to talk with when you really need to, write them down in a journal. Come on here, anytime day or night and someone will hear you.
I'll be around this weekend if you want to meet in the chat room. Just send me a private message with the time, and I'll meet you in there. It may help.
I had a long week at the office and I'm going to be staying home and working in the gardens. Need to take care of myself and rest up this weekend.
Try to eat something. Snack, at least on healthy foods. Some wheat crackers, fruit and drink some juice. Jello is very light and at least it's something in your stomach.
Sending you hugs & understanding,
Love,
Terry