Author Topic: Loss of self....  (Read 2099 times)

daddyslittlegirl3

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Loss of self....
« on: March 28, 2012, 08:23:06 AM »
Hello to all. My name is Elizabeth and this is my first time here. I don't really know where to begin or how to start. My father, Lester Paul Phillips, passed away on March 14th and I feel as if a part of me has died and I don't know what to do. To say he was just my father is such as understatement. My two brothers and I didn't have a mother growing up so he was our mother, our father, our mentor, our friend, our champion, our hero, our everything. It was always the four of us. Through everything. He had liver disease and had been getting progressively sick but had been doing really good when he unexpectedly passed away. I relocated to Tallahassee five years ago to be closer to him in order to help him with day to day needs. He became my sole existence. My days were built around him, decisions were made around him, everything revolved around him.... and now he is gone.... and I simply cannot comprehend how to cope.  My youngest brother understands this loss but it feels as if no one else does. I haven't been able to return to work, I can barely eat, had to get on medication to assist with depression and sleep, have no desire to do anything at all. Those closest to me are getting frustrated I can tell. I feel I can't talk to anyone about my dad anymore because they just don't get it. They don't understand what it is like to no longer have a parent. I started going to a therapist because I knew this was getting bigger than what I can handle but I came here just to be around people who understand.... who know what it is like... who don't think I am dramatic... or a freak... or unstable. Who know that what I feel is a tremendous loss and a gaping hole in my heart. I just miss my daddy.

Sorry for rambling. I was just going to introduce myself and it turned into one big ramble.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2012, 08:27:55 AM by daddyslittlegirl3 »

browneyedgirl

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Re: Loss of self....
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2012, 09:13:20 AM »
Welcome Elizabeth ~

I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad.  You have come to the right place.  We are all hear for you and we are all listening. 

There is another Mod here, that just recently lost her father, she will be along soon to greet you, and I know she can relate to you so much. 

Yes, you are so right, you have suffered a devasting loss, and some people just don't understand unless they have been there.  We understand here.

Lots of love and come back and let us know how you're doing.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Loss of self....
« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2012, 01:10:28 AM »

(((((((Elizabeth)))))))

I'm so sorry for the recent death of your precious Father. You're never rambling. Don't ever feel that way. This is a place where you can come to share all of these feelings and we'll listen.
My Dad just died in December and I'm feeling the same as you are. Just lost. I came to webhealing years ago when my surviving son died, although years before I also lost two other children. My Dad was my rock. He was a great Father. A wonderful friend. My everything. Please know I understand as I feel very deep pain and I know now that I cannot do this alone, any longer.

'Others' will not Get-It because they did not lose their Father. Their lives continued on. That's why there are places like this site where others really do understand, every word, every feeling shared.

I'd like to hear more about your Dad when you're comfortable sharing. It helps to post as much as you are able. There's always someone here to listen and to lend a hand, a heart.

I'm right there with you, Elizabeth....I miss my Daddy. :(

Thanks so much for sharing a little about your Dad and what you've been going through. Please try to take care of yourself the best you can, though I know this is not easy.

Sending you hugs and understanding, and My Love,
Terry

stampingwidow

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Re: Loss of self....
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2012, 05:13:55 PM »
You have come to the right place.  The people here are very understanding.  Feel free to pour out your grief here.  It really does help.  Reading posts from others helps too.  It helps us to feel less alone.

Mommysbabygirl

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Re: Loss of self....
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2012, 10:07:11 AM »
I'm so sorry for your loss Elizabeth. I totally know how you feel. My experience with my Mom's passing has been very similar to what you described. Being on this forum helps a lot and will be a great help to you. I've some how been able to go back to work, but barely get through the day and it has been a year and a half for me. I think there will be days that you will feel like yourself again and others where you feel worse. Know that someone is always here for you for the good and bad days.