Author Topic: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem  (Read 3372 times)

helene

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Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« on: March 13, 2012, 06:56:47 AM »
Once upon a time there was a young girl named June who thought it was no crime,
To play her tutor a seducer's tune, on the piano so the make him smitten,
And when June eventually tired of that game Pilkington knew that he was bitten,
Shot himself dead because she drove him insane and so, without even one more thought for the man,
Young June moved on with it all, countless recitals and many a fan, happy on the stage and in the concert hall.
'Till one day June married a young man named Ken, had two children named Daniel and Lesley,
As time went on her husband wondered when June would show them love and make them happy.
He asked June: "Why don't you ever show them affection?" June simply mocked him and called him 'weak',
While spewing forth her cold rejection. Ken couldn't fight her, he was too meek.
As time went on the children grew, they could feel their mother's cold ways,
It was not long before they both knew that they'd be alone to the end of their days.
So they turned to each other for care and need, Daniel to Lesley, who knows when it started,
But when their parents their wants did not heed, they came together to escape the cold-hearted.
Daniel must have touched Lesley first in a way he should not have done. From that day on Lesley was cursed.And Daniel knew he had won. By age eight and ten they were sent away, away to the far west coast,
So far from the east that they rued the day, Lesley later wrote: "I missed my father the most."





Continued....


Helene


Helene & Lesley

helene

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2012, 07:29:00 AM »
Part Two

June, you see, now had a new family, a man named Randall, at first Lesley and Daniel knew nothing,
But it was not long before they both could see: this was more than just a brief fling.
Years soon passed by in the new town, while late at night Daniel snuck to Lesley's bed,
Made her throw up while he lifted her gown, this then, was when Lesley's memory went dead.
Dissociating from the agonizing pain, in her heroic battle to keep from going insane,
When she felt him do it to her again and again. Later two more children were quickly growing,
The eldest, Helene, looked too much like her Randall her father, Daniel watched and was quick in knowing,
That mother loved Julie best and couln't even bother with any of the rest because Julie looked like Mom,
And by the summer of hippy love when Julie was not yet one year old June got a job on the Alaska Cruise Lines,
And soon was gone, taking only Julie with her, her youngest and dear one.
That left Lesley, Daniel, my father and myself alone, Dad out working, he needed someone,
Who, for low pay, would babysit Helene at home. Me, now at the mercy of Lesley's demon brother,
Daniel knew that a three-year-old was easy-easy bate, being alone iwth me it was easy to smother,
My childhood memory thus sealing my fate, as Lesley's had been sealed before and further, so that,
As we grew, Lesley and I forgot we were numb, we had symptoms no-one cared about,
Daniel laughted behind our backs thinking we were dumb, while our mother June continued to rant adn shout,
About her own endless problems: divoreced adn a waning career.


Continued....


Helenel


Helene & Lesley

helene

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2012, 07:49:37 AM »
Part Three:

Julie went her own way at a young enough age, being confident and never afraid to look in the mirror,
Not so for Lesley and I who lived forever in a cage, repressed rage forever forgotten we did some weird stuff,
Lesley with her seizures and me with premature old age, of taking on the burden of my mother 'till I'd had enough.
Lesley died from profound exhaustion she didn't even know, while Daniel points his finger adn will never ever go,
To the place of truth within him: it's as elusive as the moon. My Dad dided many years ago; didn't have a clue,
Of what our mother and Daniel did to Lesley and I, and Julie: June's pet, was never one to rue,
Let alone 'see' any of all that was going on, under her very nose, it's easy to turn the other way,
To blithely create her own perfect life no matter what went wrong, and keep mother under Julie's wing,
Until mother's dying day. I  feel like 'the minister's daughter' from that 'perfect family group',
While Daniel laughs in the sidelines, I told him 'where to go', swearing bitterly at him for all his endless lies:
My shoulders droop, realized that he and my mother June represent my greatest foe in life.
I am their patsy, and, as my brother once said to me: "You were the sympathetic one who could be,
Easily messed with."


Continued one more time....


Helene


Helene & Lesley

helene

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2012, 07:56:41 AM »
Final Section:

"You were the sympathetic one who could be easily messed with.", said my older brother Daniel,
Messed with. Messed with. My eyes are colored so damn red from all that I've learned and all that I've read,
So bad that I am now impervious to pain nor afraid of dying, but never as ruthless or cold,
As Daniel or as that young sexy girl-pianist June: who was so blatantly bold...them both in endless,
Karmic ignorance their souls will lose their hold, shattering into endless shards,
While around their heads falls the whole house of cards.

By Helene.


Helene & Lesley

browneyedgirl

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2012, 10:08:34 AM »
((((((((((((((((((((((helene & Lesley)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I can't see right now as the tears will not allow me to.  I am so sorry, helene.  I am again speechless.  I wish I had a magic touch that could heal your pain.  I don't even know what else to write. 
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

mary strain

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2012, 01:23:29 PM »
Helene

I lit a candle for you today and I hope writing about the family will help you heal.

Love
Mary

Terry

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2012, 05:10:28 PM »

Thinking of you, Helene, with love.

(((((((((Helene)))))))))

jasonkl

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2012, 12:16:24 PM »


((((((((((((((((((((((((((Helene)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Jason

helene

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2012, 07:01:32 AM »
Thank you Pam, Terry, Mary and Jason,

That's a long poem and gritty reading. Thank you for plowing through that, and everyone else here who has also done so. I know it is a horrible story and heavy stuff, but it HAPPENED. It's why Lesley died and why I suffer from various psychological, emotional and physical illnesses. I wanted people here to know the TRUTH, even though it is ugly, painful and hard to read or think about.

Thank you for bearing with me and not judging me. This has been VERY DIFFICULT! It brings a lot of pain back to me and causes me upset, but I feel I need to share this.

Thank you all for your understanding.

Love from Helene.


Helene & Lesley

deebee

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2012, 12:41:22 PM »
WOW, powerful reading Helene.  Can now understand so many things about you, and you know what ?
No judging, just love and understanding for you.

I wonder why brother Daniel would want to have a brother-sister relationship w/ you -- You should not -- I dont think I could ever forgive someone like him  (sorry)

My prayers and thoughts are with you.  Keep webhealing close to you,  you need "us".  Love you,  deebee

helene

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Re: Story of my 'Family' in one Poem
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2012, 08:57:46 AM »
Hi Deebee,

Thank you for you most understanding and empathetic response to what I wrote about my family, and especially about my mother and brother Daniel. Why indeed would a brother 'want' a relationship with his younger sister? It was never a 'relationship' with him. It was his control over me. It started with him and Lesley then he went for me. I was 11 years younger. I was age around 2 or 3 when he started on me and he was age 15/16. His abuse of his two sisters came from a lot of things: anger from being from a broken family and from suffering from wicked verbal abuse (and most likely physical abuse when he was smaller, from our mother), lack of love and nurturing from his parents, being raised by a stepfather (my Dad, Randall). My brother suffers from a deep-rooted rage, total denial of ever doing anything wrong in his life, having a brilliant mind but a failed career, and chronic depression to name but a few things. He is deadly with mind games. Can twist someone's words around and make people squirm. He's powerfully handsome and charismatic (tall, dark and handsome) and he uses that as a weapon. I've told my husband Barry about him. Barry had one encounter with Daniel years ago and Daniel insulted the hell out of Barry and tried to get him into a physical fight but Barry wouldn't take the bait. He just ignored Daniel which Daniel HATES! How dare anyone ignore the great Daniel - ?! Recently Daniel wanted me to visit him at his girlfirend's place where they live around 400 miles from where I live. I declined. I will NEVER see him in person ever again, and if Barry ever sees him it won't be a pretty experience for Daniel. Lesley knew full well that her older brother Daniel (full-blood brother from my mother's first marriage) was NOT TO EVER BE TRUSTED. She never saw him in person for the last 30 years of her life.  He is a big part of what killed Lesley. He and ou 'mother'.

Thank you for listening!


Love from Helene


Helene & Lesley