As It gets close to the eight month mark since I lost my precious wife, thought I would post a few
thoughts. My wife had been fighting Multiple Sclerosis for years. She was in hospice for the last
year of her life and I was her 24/7 caregiver. When she passed away, I was left with a hole in
my heart bigger than the state of Texas. First came her first birthday, then Thanksgiving and
Christmas and probably the hardest was New Years Eve. Then came the day that would have
been our 29th wedding anniversary. Everyone advised me to wait a year until I made any major
decisions, well I decided that I needed to move out of our home because she was everywhere
and I could literally hear her calling me .. I made the move on the 1st of January and I belive that
is when my healing began. Friends still do not call and I am still alone, but I am alone in a place
that she was never at. I decided that I would make an effort to try and get out everyday .. Some
days it is a trip to the library, other days it is to the park, and still other day I just go watch the birds
at the park. I think I have begun the healing process, though there are still days that the pain is
overwhelming, but I think that coming to the realization that I only have myself to make things better
has helped. If you are waiting on someone else .. it probably wont happen.