Author Topic: As I Near the Eight Month Mark  (Read 2953 times)

TxDoug1952

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 3
    • View Profile
As I Near the Eight Month Mark
« on: March 07, 2012, 08:46:39 AM »
As It gets close to the eight month mark since I lost my precious wife,  thought I would post a few
thoughts.   My wife had been fighting Multiple Sclerosis for years.   She was in hospice for the last
year of her life and I was her 24/7 caregiver.   When she passed away,  I was left with a hole in
my heart bigger than the state of Texas.   First came her first birthday,  then Thanksgiving and
Christmas and probably the hardest was New Years Eve.   Then came the day that would have
been our 29th wedding anniversary.   Everyone advised me to wait a year until I made any major
decisions,  well I decided that I needed to move out of our home because she was everywhere
and I could literally hear her calling me  ..   I made the move on the 1st of January and I belive that
is when my healing began.   Friends still do not call and I am still alone,  but I am alone in a place
that she was never at.   I decided that I would make an effort to try and get out everyday  ..  Some
days it is a trip to the library,  other days it is to the park,  and still other day I just go watch the birds
at the park.   I think I have begun the healing process,  though there are still days that the pain is
overwhelming,  but I think that coming to the realization that I only have myself to make things better
has helped.  If you are waiting on someone else  ..  it probably wont happen.

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: As I Near the Eight Month Mark
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2012, 10:16:38 AM »

....... but I think that coming to the realization that I only have myself to make things better
has helped.  If you are waiting on someone else  ..  it probably wont happen.


I agree, Doug. After awhile, we plant our 'own' garden, instead of waiting for someone to bring us flowers.

(((((((Doug)))))))

Doug1222

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 574
  • Keep on keeping on.
    • View Profile
Re: As I Near the Eight Month Mark
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2012, 10:33:05 AM »
I think I have begun the healing process,  though there are still days that the pain is
overwhelming,  but I think that coming to the realization that I only have myself to make things better
has helped.  If you are waiting on someone else  ..  it probably wont happen.

I'm happy that you're healing, Doug. My mom did something similar after we lost my dad. Everybody said not to make any major decisions for a year, but after around six months, she sold our family house and moved down to the farm. That was a huge decision, but she said it just felt right when somebody offered her a fair offer.

I think it started her healing, also.

I'm glad for you, and that's wonderful advice up there.
Doug

gaberax

  • nospam
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 252
    • View Profile
Re: As I Near the Eight Month Mark
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2012, 11:23:24 AM »
Coming up on 8 months since my wife died on the 15th of March for me as well.  Last weekend I moved into my own condo (with some money she left me) as her children are selling her house for the estate.  It is easier in a place the two of  us never shared.  As hard as the process getting there was, it is still easier to live each day.  Good luck, TxDoug1952.

browneyedgirl

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2320
    • View Profile
Re: As I Near the Eight Month Mark
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2012, 10:17:56 AM »
TxDoug1952 ~ how are you doing?  Please post if you like.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

stampingwidow

  • nospam
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 185
    • View Profile
Re: As I Near the Eight Month Mark
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2012, 07:42:28 PM »
Glad that you have started to heal.  It sounds like you are making real progress.  It gives me hope for the future.  So many people that I know have taken very long times to make any progress.  It is very discouraging.  Thanks for giving us some hope for the future.