Author Topic: nervous and back to africa for few weeks  (Read 10269 times)

browneyedgirl

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2012, 10:35:15 AM »
((((((((((sonya))))))))))))))

How are you doing?   Please post if you wish. 
Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

jasonkl

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2012, 09:06:19 AM »
((((((((((((((((((((((((Sonya))))))))))))))))))))))

My friend your in my thoughts. Hope this message finds you in a better place.

Jason

sonya

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #17 on: March 18, 2012, 10:02:17 PM »
(((((((((((hugs to all))))))))))

Hi guys,

Hope today finds you in a good place.

I am back in Kenya having been to see the gorillas and chimps in Rwanda. It was indeed am amazing experience in a beautiful country and would recommend it to anyone who gets the chance. For me right now, being a tourist is not really working. I kept crying as Tone should have been there with me, so it was definitely bitter-sweet. I tried to hold him in my heart and take him with me which helped a bit.

So now am back in Nairobi. Need to photograph my furniture to try and sell it today. Still have paperwork that needs dealing with but should be sorted by the end of the week.

I return on Saturday and it can't come too soon.

Stamping widow - I have made this the shortest trip I can so that I can leave as soon as possible. Unfortunately thinks take time to be processed here so this is as short as it can be.

It's difficult. Not sleeping particularly well. But also great to see friends and get some sun on my bones. A very mixed up rollr-coaster that has flung those early dark days back in my face again. But I am coping ok. I was prepared for this to be the case so just riding it out and trying.

Thanks for all your support,

Son xxx
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

jasonkl

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #18 on: March 19, 2012, 08:04:52 AM »
((((((((((((Sonya))))))))))

So nice to here from you. Everything seems bitter sweet now. For everything we acomplish there is alway that tint of pain that gos with it.

Thinking of you.

Jason

stampingwidow

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #19 on: March 19, 2012, 01:50:12 PM »
Glad you will be returning soon.  It sounds like there have been a few positives mixed in with the negatives.  Home will be a continuation of the roller coaster ride but hopefully things will settle down a bit.  Remember just take one day at a time and know that you are cared about.

sonya

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #20 on: March 20, 2012, 11:00:44 PM »
Thanks stamping widow. It's true there have been some positives, connecting with friends, sorting out the things that were left undone. Someone coming to buy my furniture this evening and police check is hopefully processed by today...

Have had a rough time too. Did the stupid drinking too much and acting badly thing. So felt even worse. Honestly, when will I learn that drinking to feel better does not work? Only drink when you already feel good. (only did it once, not slipped into alcoholism)

Just read on Facebook yesterday that my friend is looking for a new gardener. Tone did her garden for years. Obviously she needs to get her garden sorted as it has been left since he died in august. But reading that hit me really hard. I don't want her to find someone else. Just felt like telling her not to. Screaming No! Still finding that really difficult to accept.

Strange the things that get to me.

Thought I would share.

Thanks for reading xxx
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

stampingwidow

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #21 on: March 21, 2012, 07:34:47 AM »
So often it is the small things that blind side us.  They do not feel small to us though.  You never know when it will happen.  It is often the unexpected things that get to us.  Hopefully the frequency will diminish.  I doubt if they ever completely go away.  Hopefully we will adjust to it happening and not find it as difficult to go on with our lives when they do.  Last night, I talked with a widowed friend who confessed that it still happens to her and she has been a widow for a long time.  She dashed my hope that it would stop. She seems to be able to handle it now ao that gives me some hope that in the far future it will be easier to handle these difficult times.  Hang in there.  Remember this is a long process and take it one step at a time.

Pookiesguy

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2012, 01:38:54 PM »
                          ((((((((((((((((Sonya))))))))))))))))

 When I first got onboard to this site, You said I was given good advise, Baby Steps. I've found that works also when I get too busy, running full out then I go home where time stands still. A little dusting here or vacuum a room there seems to help me even if it's short term. Now I'm not insinuating your house is dirty, but whatever works to get started for you, do.
     Breathe, Live and Love,
       Mark

jasonkl

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #23 on: March 26, 2012, 04:17:27 AM »
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sonya))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

How are doing? Thinking about you.

Jason

sonya

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #24 on: March 27, 2012, 12:30:34 PM »
Hi All,

Thanks so much for your messages and hugs. They are really appreciated.
I am now back home in UK.

Kenya overall was a very tough place for me to go back to. I was catapulted back in time to some very dark emotions and all that i went through in those first days. I ended up (this time) reliing a lot of stuff and going to a very dark place indeed.
The good news is that i am now back home and feel so much better already. I am still licking my wounds and will take a bit of time to get back on track so may well not be posting for a bit. trying to keep my head above water is taking up all my energy at the moment but just wanted to post quickly to say thank you. I am doing ok and working really hard at getting better.

Hope you  all are doing well. Sorry if i not here for a bit, know that i am thinking of you all.

Son xxx
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

gaberax

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #25 on: March 27, 2012, 05:58:11 PM »
Happy for you, Sonya.  You sound good. :)  (((Sonya)))

Doug1222

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #26 on: March 28, 2012, 12:26:33 AM »
I'm glad to hear you made it back and are feeling better, Sonya. We're here when you're ready.

((((((((((((Sonya))))))))))))))))))

arthur

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #27 on: March 28, 2012, 09:55:38 PM »
Welcome back Sonya! I hope you feel better physically and mentally! (((Sonya))) arthur

jasonkl

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #28 on: March 29, 2012, 07:38:38 AM »
((((((((((((((((((((((Sonya))))))))))))))))))

Welcome back. Take your time.  We will be here if you need us.


Jason

MyLou

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Re: nervous and back to africa for few weeks
« Reply #29 on: March 29, 2012, 03:50:39 PM »
(((((((((((((((((((((( SONYA ))))))))))))))))))))))

 
Rest my friend !!!!

Always, Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again