Author Topic: A book on complicated grief....  (Read 6838 times)

helene

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A book on complicated grief....
« on: February 29, 2012, 01:05:40 PM »
Hi Everyone,

Someone has probably mentioned this book already, but I don't see a post on it so here it is:

Getting Back to Life When Grief Won't Heal by Phyllis Kosminsky, Ph.D.

This is a book about what they call 'complicated grief' - grief that just doesn't heal and can go on for years and years. I've just started reading this book, but the jist I'm getting from it so far is that complicated grief or grief that goes on and indefinitely on without any kind of healing at all is caused, at least partially, from relationships that were problematic, hurtful, have left things unresolved in our lives, or remind us of memories that we thought we had buried, or we have terrible regrets, and so on. I'm not describing this well here because I've only just started reading it, but I think this is a good one!

Thanks!

Helnee.

PS If anyone else has rad this I would be most interested in hearing your thoughts.


Helene & Lesley

sevenofwands

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Re: A book on complicated grief....
« Reply #1 on: February 29, 2012, 01:54:01 PM »
Hello Helene:

Do give your thoughts on that book once you have finished reading it.

I wonder if you have every looked at these essays by Dr. Richard Grossman
Here is a link to one of them.

http://www.voicelessness.com/images/img2017.gif

Excerpt:
"How do parents send the message: "I am important, you are not"?  By consistently violating the three rules of voice (see Giving Your
Child "Voice").

They assume their child has to little to say about the world, and what he or she does say is insignificant."
"The very same parents who deprive their children of "voice" believe they are first rate caretakers.  How do they deceive themselves so thoroughly?  The first answer is that, often, their parents treated them the same way".

They assume their child has plenty to learn from them, but they have nothing to learn from their child"

Best wishes
Seven

helene

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Re: A book on complicated grief....
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2012, 07:55:13 AM »
Thank you Sevenofwands,

I love your name, by the way. Do you love the Tarot? I sure do!
Thank you for your suggestion to look at the website for Dr. Richard Grossman. I think his writing will help me a lot.

I will write more about Getting Back to Life When Grief Won't Heal soon. Already it is speaking to me.

I feel terribly depressed these days so I really am trying to 'reach out' for any help there is. Thank you again.

With appreciation,

Helene.


Helene & Lesley

sevenofwands

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Re: A book on complicated grief....
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2012, 09:33:33 AM »
Thank you Helen, for the feedback.    I have posted quite a few books and othre what I thought useful links up here in this section over quite a long time, but I think yours is the first feedback.  I do like to hear what people think of the recommendations, and I know people are busy, but it is good to hear back.

The main thing Helene is not to be hard on yourself.  That is your major task I think.  to be GOOD to yourself.  You are your own best friend, no matter what, so you need looking after.

Take care
Seven