Author Topic: Valentimes day  (Read 2790 times)

jasonkl

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Valentimes day
« on: February 16, 2012, 06:47:26 AM »
This was one of the days I feared the most. It was a day truely all about her. She never what jewery, just a card to show her I remembered. I though if any day was going to break me it was going to be this day. Especially after my son told me that her parents though I had a girlfriend because they had not seen me in a while. I have talked to them and they are trying to understand that it just has been to hard for me to come and see them. Unfurtinatly they said all those things you never want to hear, you are young you will find someone else, it's ok if you do we understand, we don't expect you greive for her forever. This was their daughter, it has been less than six months. I don't understand how they can say those things, but I guess they were just trying to be helpful.

Sorry got off track. Tuesday I took my wife flowers and a card. And the way I stopped and picked up lunch and took it with me. I placeed the flowers and card with her.  I was getting ready to leave when I decided to stay and have lunch with her. I sat down ate my lunch and talked to her for about 40 mins or so. That was the first day that I have ever left the cematery with out feeling so overwhelmed by dispaire that I had to wait and get myself together before driving home. I am thinking about bring lunch with me next week.


Thank you for listening. I really wanted to share that with all of you. I feel the first sigh of light in my darkness, may not be from the end of the tunnell but it is still some light.

Jason

Spring2012

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2012, 07:01:44 AM »
Jason -- I am happy for you -- I can't seem to talk to my husband -- but I do kiss the Teddy Bear every morning and every night -- telling him both Good Morning and Good Night -- take care.
Good-night ! good-night !
As we so oft have said
Beneath this roof at midnight, in the days that are no more, and shall no more return.
Thou hast but taken up thy lamp and gone to bed;
I stay a little longer, as one stays
To cover up the embers that still burn.

browneyedgirl

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2012, 10:08:46 AM »
Jason ~ I too, am happy for you...bright spots along the way always help.  love the pic. 
Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

gaberax

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2012, 03:30:11 PM »
Jason,  For Valentines Day I visited Denise's grave and brought a heart-shaped brooch and necklace I had made myself from supplies from Michael's.  I hung the necklace around the flower stand.  I cried alone in the rain.

I bring her roses every Saturday. 

This past week I had my first dream (in 7 months) with Denise in it.  In the dream I answered my cellphone and Denise said, "Hello, honey, it's me."  I knew the second she started talking it was her.  I quickly said, "Honey, where are you?"  She responded, "You know where I am."  At that point the phone went dead.  I was yelling, "Hello!" over and over.  Then I woke up.  When I got out of bed in the morning,  I found my cellphone in the bed with me.

I believe she is in heaven.

Spring2012

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2012, 04:47:20 PM »
Gaberax -- my greatest fear right now is that if I fall asleep I am going to dream -- and I'm not sure how I would handle it -- I feel for you -- when my husband was here he phoned me all the time -- it was his lifeline -- lots of times I traveled alone -- but he always phoned -- as he got sicker he didn't phone as much because he was having problems figuring out the phone -- little did I know there would soon be no more phone calls !!
I'm sure Denise is in Heaven -- but at the same time she is all around you -- at least the way I see it -- they are even in the air we breath --
Take care -- thinking of you --
Good-night ! good-night !
As we so oft have said
Beneath this roof at midnight, in the days that are no more, and shall no more return.
Thou hast but taken up thy lamp and gone to bed;
I stay a little longer, as one stays
To cover up the embers that still burn.

MyLou

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2012, 05:55:38 PM »
(((((((((((((((( JASON ))))))))))))))))))))

The rose is beautiful.  When I go to the cemetery I have had lunch a few times with Lou.  On his birthday my sister, nephew and I sang to him.  I bought cupcakes we sat and ate one.  I left two for him. 

((((((((((((((( BOB )))))))))))))))))))

Denise wants you to know she is OK and is in Heaven.  I had dreams in the beginning of Lou but never could see his face.  We talked and laughed.  I have dreams now and sometimes can't remember them and don't know why.  A few months ago I was sleeping and I heard my first and last name in my ear. It woke me right up it was so real I know it was Lou.


((((((((((((((((( SPRING ))))))))))))))))

I know your fear but when you dream of them it's so wonderful believe me.


Always,

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

angie

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2012, 06:02:32 PM »
((((((((((((((((JASON))))))))))))))))

Im glad on valentines day you found some peace.Beautiful pic too.
I wasnt to worried about valentines day cos me n Davie never bothered with it to be honest.I wasnt prepared for how sad and upset i was gonna get that day.spent the day and the days since just feeling lost and alone.

      ((((((((((((((((((BOB)))))))))))))))))

I had a dream of Davie a few weeks ago.Made me feel better since.In it he told me hes always with me n ever since then I really feel as if he is here.Hope your dream is having as positive an effect on your life.
      
      lots of love
      huge hugs
    
     Angie xxxxx

DaveB

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2012, 10:07:08 PM »
This was my second Valentines day without Judy. I don't remember what I did last year, but I know it was an emotional day. Valentines day was always special for us, I think because when we were dating I always went all out with the flowers and cards and whatnot, usually sent to her at work (even if I was far away)...and she loved it! After she stopped working, it was still special for us. She started a tradition that she kept up for many years. She would go to the store the day AFTER Valentines and buy me a big heart shaped box of chocolates...50% off! We always laughed over that. But I sure miss that big box of discount chocolate now.

This year, though, I didn't even think about Valentines day. It just came and went and I hardly noticed. It was kind of that way for Christmas too. I must be getting deadened to the pain of it all, like your sense of smell can get overwhelmed if exposed to a particular odor for too long. I have noticed that lately. It's like I'm dead to the world, but still walking around.

jasonkl

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2012, 06:05:13 AM »
I wish I had away to send to you all some of how I feel. The calm that I have been feeling over these last few days. To be able to bottle it up and send it out to all of you. I kinda feel a little guilty for the way I knowing that alot of my family here is hurting.

((((((((((Spring))))))))))))))
You do what ever feels right to you. Some of us talk, some of us write, some of us send ballons, some do all three. I was haveing nightmares for a while, for me I had to try to think of a good memory before I went to sleep to keep the nightmares from coming. So far this has worked. Last year my wife was with me most of cummunication was on the phone. She would sleep more than she was awake. I use to check my phone alot, I still do some days. I have even found myself calling her from time to time.

(((((((((Bob))))))))))
I think she is in hevean too. I think they are all up there together sharing like we are down here. Some day we will all be together again.

((((((((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))
My friend it feels like it been forever. Lunch was such A wonderful thing I wish I would have done it sooner. I will have to get hold of you this weekend. i miss talking to you and kevin.

(((((((((Dave)))))
Hold on my friend i promise you, all of you if I figure out how I to make this last I will share.

Thank you all for sharing with me. Hoping you all can find a moment of peace today.

Jason


Doug1222

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2012, 06:28:44 AM »
The calm that I have been feeling over these last few days... Hoping you all can find a moment of peace today.

I'm happy for you, Jason! I hope the peace becomes more common than the pain.

I hope the same for everyone.

Doug

roseygirl61

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Re: Valentimes day
« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2012, 08:27:40 PM »
((((Jason))))

Good to see you posting again!

Hope all is well.

Rose