Author Topic: Keri's Dad's Angel Date ((((( Keri )))))  (Read 2326 times)

Terry

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Keri's Dad's Angel Date ((((( Keri )))))
« on: February 11, 2012, 12:34:28 AM »

(((((((Keri)))))))

You are in my thoughts and in my heart today, as you're remembering your precious Dad. If you would like to share a memory of your Dad, I would love to hear it. What we have now are our memories and sharing them is the greatest way to honor them. Keeping them alive in the hearts of all. He will always be remembered here with your Webhealing family.

You have my love, support and understanding,
Terry

cokieslittlegirl

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Re: Keri's Dad's Angel Date ((((( Keri )))))
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2012, 09:16:11 PM »
Thank you Terry, very much. Today was up and down for me...one minute I'm fine the next I'm sobbing. Although it has been this way since Dec and escalated every day since.  I relive all of the events that occured nearing and leading up to my father's death. My Dad died somewhat suddenly from a viscious cancer. My stepmom and I cared for him in their home basically alone until he took his last breath.  I wouldn't have had it any other way, but it was gentle, loving and horrifically traumatic all at the same time.  My dad was my whole world.  I don't have siblings, my mother wasn't always invested in me, we didn't have a lot of family around. My dad was the one who took care of me in so many ways...he was the one person I trusted in life, the one person I loved the most, the one person I needed the most.  And I just still can't BELIEVE it could be true.  My soul was ripped from me that day.

Why is an anniversary harder to deal with?? I find everything becomes so vivid and real.  Like the reality has to hit again....this really happened...is happening.  Think I am stuck sometimes...in this misery of living without him.  Sometimes maybe I try to lie to myself that it didn't happen. Other times I chase the thoughts away because they are so painful...I have a little 15 month old life to care for. And then there are the times i just bare down and take it, deal with it.

When I was young and through high school I used to visit him a lot since my parents were divorced.  Every weekend , holidays and summers.  Dad was never the type to buy my affection, we always just did simple things together. And it was doing these simple things that made our relationship the way it was. We really knew each other, respected each other, and craved each others company.  One of my favorite memories of one of these simple things was lying in the hammock together. He would lie one way and I would lie the otherand we'd read together or on our own, or just talked and gently swayed back and forth.  My dad read so much about so many different subjects. He was so intelligent, I loved talking to him and learning things that he knew.  He was my greatest teacher in life. Guess that's why at 35 i still feel I have so much I want to learn,ask or get his perspective on.
 We spent a lot of hours together on that hammock through the years.

Thank you for listening and for giving me this opportunity.   I miss him so much.

Terry

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Re: Keri's Dad's Angel Date ((((( Keri )))))
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2012, 09:25:54 AM »
And I just still can't BELIEVE it could be true.  My soul was ripped from me that day.

Why is an anniversary harder to deal with?? I find everything becomes so vivid and real.  Like the reality has to hit again....this really happened...is happening.  Think I am stuck sometimes...in this misery of living without him.  Sometimes maybe I try to lie to myself that it didn't happen. Other times I chase the thoughts away because they are so painful...I have a little 15 month old life to care for. And then there are the times i just bare down and take it, deal with it.


I understand that, Keri, the disbelief because we don't 'want' it to be true. Anniversary's are much harder to deal with than other dates for the reasons you described. We're hit with every moment leading up to that harsh reality of their death. Those very painful last moments. I struggle with this, with my Dad throughout my days and nights. Remembering those last breaths, especially. I try very hard to think of him smiling at me, lovingly or touching my face as he did so often. But, it's hard. It's only been a little over 7 weeks. And how I miss him beyond words.

What a nice memory of you and Dad laying and swaying in the hammock along with, I'm sure so many other wonderful memories. And, the things that he taught you and shared with you will follow you throughout your life and that's one way he will always be with you. Your love for reading will continue and the learning will serve as an aid in overcoming many of life's obstacles you've yet to face.

Your little one is also going to benefit from your Dad's love for you. Parenting is very challenging but also the most rewarding job in the world. To mold, to teach and give your heart to another human being so freely is what this life is all about. I believe that with all of my heart!

I'm sure you'll continue to honor that tradition with your little one with the *Dad/Grandpop hammock, time.*

Thanks so much for sharing your day, your precious Dad!

(((((((Keri)))))))

Love,
Terry