Factors of Complicated Grief
-Information compiled from open blogs and shared by Psychologists and Grief Counselors.
Complicated grief is the name used for grief and loss process which the bereaved person seems “to be stuck” in, it actually becomes a way of life for the bereaved.
Grief is, in fact, a natural response of a person to the death of a loved one, family member or a friend; it is experienced individually every time by each of us. Though there are no particular time limits for the grief and loss process and the time it is supposed to last, psychologists and health care specialists say that when the bereaved is unable to move forward in life, and this may be after many years after the loss of a loved one then we enter an area where we are dealing with many complications to our grief. Both anticipated (in case of a terminal illness) and unexpected grief and loss, and through the process later can turn into complicated grief due to a number of factors:Factors of complicated grief and loss process:
The factor of the relationship. It is a very important and influential factor for grieving and loss process. It really matters how close the bereaved and the departed were. The risk of complicated grief increases if the relations were too close and the bereaved was too much emotionally dependent on the passed away.
The factor of circumstances. The risk of difficult grief and loss process is higher in cases of an unexpected death, for example suicide. The bereaved may acquire guilt complex of not being able to prevent the terrible event and being fully responsible for it.
Death of several close people. In this case the supporting of a grieving person is complicated by the fact that he or she experiences the loss of a loved one either not for the first time or the loss is multiple (as a result of a terrorist act or car accident). This really complicates the grief and loss process.
Emotional strength. The way and result of handling grief and loss process depends also on the character qualities of the bereaved. It is very important to have the inner ability to cope and live on without being stuck in a continuous mourning. If a person is not that strong emotionally, doesn’t have enough support, deprived financially or isolated – all this increases his or her chance to go into a complicated grief.
Social life factors. There are cases when the bereaved lives in poor social conditions (domestic violence, poor housing, poverty, etc.) and thus he or she doesn’t have any access to social networks, communication facilities or appropriate systems of supporting a grieving person. Grief and loss practice is likely to become complicated and difficult.
Let's break these down, one at a time:~The factor of the relationship. A healthy relationship compared to one filled with conflict. In a codependent relationship where joy in our lives depends solely on the joy in our loved ones life. Separation anxiety would be greater in this type of relationship.
~The factor of circumstances. If our loved one took their own life, their is a lot of guilt associated with this type of loss. Unlike the 'normal' guilt felt when our loved one dies.
~Death of several close people. Some have lost their entire family in accidents. This type of loss can create a sense of overwhelming grief and it could be debilitating. Further robbing us of the ability to cope with such devastating loss without seeking professional help.
~Emotional strength. How we handled or did not handle our losses in the past, for example; job loss; separation; divorce. Or a loss of any other kind could be a factor in our difficulty to handle a loss through death.
~Social life factors. Do we have the means to communicate with others in order to receive support? Can we participate in online support groups or is a device for such support unavailable to us? Are we able to socialize and maintain contact with others. If we do not, this could cause us to feel isolated, alone and hopeless.
Can you relate to any of these factors?I can relate to "Social life factors" and it's importance when grieving as I was confined to my home and if it weren't for this message board and the support and understanding I received, I believe it would have severely affected my chances for ever finding the compassion that I sorely needed. The interaction with others who understood my devastation and never feeling alone, was key to lightening my heavy heart. I have made, what I believe to be lifelong friends while sharing my feelings on this message board. Had I not received this support, it would have complicated my grieving process.
~Terry