Hi Terry,
Thanks for responding. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your father recently. It must have been so incredibly difficult to watch the effects of Alzheimers on someone you love so much. And even though sometimes death for someone suffering this way can be a relief of sorts both on them and you, it still just hurts so very deeply. Lost...yes I feel the same. Fathers are such great beacons in life...especially it seems to their baby girls...such a strong connection can be created.
Beyond words, as nothing can describe the pain, the sadness of watching my Father mentally and physically deteriorate from the awful disease of Alzheimers, right before my eyes. I miss him so much and will until the day I die. The hole in my heart from my other losses, is now such a huge gaping hole beyond what I ever thought I would have to live with.
I have started a legacy scrapbook for my Dad and have been working on it daily. Digging out childhood pictures and adding a story to each. It has helped with the pain of missing him so much. I talk to him all the time. I write letters to him and leave them on his night stand.
I have been changed so much...it's difficult to find that person I used to be. People say it helps to talk about it...but after 3 years no one wants to hear my sob story you know? No one wants to be "brought down" by another person's tragedy...gets too close for comfort I guess. People say that they are "there" for you...but the reality is they are not going to stay for long...at least not most. Except here...here you're good...you can say anything, but "here' is a lonely place too. Although it is comforting to know that others experience this type of pain too...it's hard to identify this in the everyday world.
Yes, it's hard when others stop mentioning them and it's because their lives were not affected by their death the way ours was. People who have not yet experienced a great loss do not understand how important it is to remember our loved ones and mention their names to us, also to remember dates. I know it's hurtful. We all experience it. I'm sorry. I 'do' understand.
We'll always remember your Dad here, if that brings you any comfort.
I wish for strength, also for all here. Time does make the pain 'different' and we learn to take the pain and the sadness with us when we move forward out of the darkness, and it becomes a part of us instead of it defining us.
We'll always be Daddy's Little Girls...that's comforting to me. Dad's don't leave their little girls. Thanks for sharing how you've been doing. It's helped me to be able to talk about my Dad with someone who feels the same way.
Holding you close as your Dad's Angel Date is nearing.
(((((((((Keri)))))))))
Love,
Terry