Author Topic: "Friendly" advice  (Read 2837 times)

arthur

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"Friendly" advice
« on: January 30, 2012, 10:06:33 PM »
I just had a coworker give me some"friendly" advice today.  Well, to be more accurate..it would be better labeled as "Well meaning but misplaced" advice.  A woman at work who I always thought was genuine offered me a bit of advice today.."you need to be less negative, arthur, try to be more positive." Hmmm. I never talk to this woman, or anyone else at work either for that matter, about my grief, which I do my hardest to keep to myself, mostly because I don't trust any of my co workers to be able to understand it.  I guess not complaining to them at all ,like I have felt like doing on more than one occasion, and not saying a word to them at all about my loss, constitutes being "negative." Just a friendly kick in the leg , I guess, from well meaning "friends" who wish to be more "kind". LOL
-arthur

sonya

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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2012, 02:11:41 AM »
Ah yes, the friendly little kick in the face from the well meaning. We can definately ALL relate to that one i am sure!

Son

(((((((Arthur))))))))
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

browneyedgirl

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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2012, 01:35:28 PM »
Perhaps they see it as being withdrawn....but yes, misplaced all the same.

(((Arthur)))
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

gaberax

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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2012, 08:16:09 PM »
(((Arthur)))

Yes, have had one or two of those encounters myself, the well-meaning moron.  On the other hand, have met one or two who have lost someone close to them. They always share a word of encouragement, a smile, a warm hug or gentle touch.  They say so much with a nod, a bittersweet smile or with a glance.  I try to "pay it forward" when I can.


arthur

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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2012, 11:05:32 PM »
Thanks Sonya, Pam, & Gaberax! It sort of bugged me that this person would be like that towards me. Oh well. My list of reliable friends seems to have been shrinking lately and I'll just have to cross this person off my list of people who I trust. -arthur

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2012, 05:58:17 PM »

Arthur, the reason I've been keeping my distance from people, although there are some that are speaking from the heart, I do know this, but they are just not engaging their brain first.

Original response was too much of a ramble on my part: Edit Police!!! Really just wanted you to know that I understand and I'm sorry that you were subject to this unkindness.

Cross another one off!

(((((((Arthur))))))

« Last Edit: February 02, 2012, 02:36:22 AM by Terry »

jasonkl

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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2012, 05:29:01 AM »
(((((((((((((Arthur))))))))))))))))))

I will never understand why some poeple insist and trying to help when they don't have a clue. These are poeple I have to hold the urge in not to choke. Also I pray that if they ever find themselves in my place that do not have hear the same things that they have said.

Jason

jasonkl

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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2012, 05:39:11 AM »
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Terry))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I have to say I liked your frist response better. We all ramble. I  don't think you should edit your feelings here, we do that enough in the real world. Just my thoughs. Hope you understand.

Jason

Terry

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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2012, 01:04:02 PM »

Jason, you are very sweet. But, I felt like I was hijacking Arthur's thread and decided to remove it. I felt selfish for writing it.

Arthur needed the support and my response was distracting. But, thank you for your understanding.

Love you, buddy,
Terry

Halfpint

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Re: "Friendly" advice
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2012, 02:04:43 PM »
I try to remind myself that less than 8 months ago, that could have been me giving that well meaning, but idiotic advice.