Author Topic: WHEN WILL IT STOP  (Read 7479 times)

MyLou

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WHEN WILL IT STOP
« on: January 30, 2012, 04:38:40 PM »
Hi Everyone,

It's 14 months for me.  I just don't know when the ANXIETY will stop. I just want it to go away.  It takes over my whole being.  I take medicine but I can't take the xanax through the day. It makes me tired and I can't wait to get home to take it. 

Of course I still cry everyday but the tears aren't like the first year but they do still come. I still feel alone in this world but glad I have met so many great people to see me through. 

I help a few others and they think I am strong and I'm really not as strong as they think I am.

I promised Lou I will start living this year.  I know he wants me too.  How do I do that? 

Meeting Kevin and Jason was so wonderful and they are wonderful.  I guess that is a start and yes we will get together hopefully soon.  Of course whoever else wants to join. 

I miss Lou everything, his smile, holding his hand, his silly ways.  I hold our memories close to my heart. Lou will always live on through me.  I really hate this journey like everyone here. 

I need to know when the ANXIETY will stop.  How do I make it go away? 

Thanks for listening.

Always,

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

gaberax

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2012, 07:45:15 PM »
((((myLou)))) 

I can't illuminate but I can commiserate.

It's been over 6 months since Denise passed...halfway to 7.  I went out to dinner tonight because I just couldn't choke down another G-D cold sandwich at home by myself.  Took myself to Outback for a hot meal.

As I sat there, alone (hey, hostess...party of one isn't really a party), I started thinking on this weird thought that has been occurring to me lately...that the entire universe is wrong now.  Nothing feels "right" anymore.  I don't feel right anymore.

As I sat there listening to all the conversations, laughter and camaraderie of all these strangers all around me I started to freak myself out.  I feel totally and utterly alone. Like in the entire universe alone.  Everyone is a stranger now...even my family and friends.  Denise is on the side of the dead and I am stuck on the side of the living and the whole universe seems out of kilter. 

On the way out of the restaurant I realized that in some weird way I am acclimating to the loneliness.  Getting comfortable with it.  A silent observer. Cut off.  Detached and untouchable.  Grateful for it.

I feel so lost and so tired. 

johnkmurray

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2012, 08:50:29 PM »
(((Lisa)))

I wish I could offer answers but I'm at a loss myself. I promised Kit I'd get on with my life ... but damned if I know how to go about it.

John

jasonkl

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2012, 08:59:20 PM »
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

My friend I can't not answer your question. I can only repeat what others have told me. A very smart, beautiful preson told me it takes time, that it is still raw. 14 months is not alot of time.

I know I have been struggling with my own feelings, but my phone is always on and I will answer it no matter what time it is, or where I am at. If you need to talk I will be there or if you need me just to listen I can do that too.

My thoughs and prayers are with you.
Jason

ps We can get together when ever you would like. You just have to let me know when and where.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2012, 09:00:52 PM by jasonkl »

sonya

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2012, 02:19:04 AM »
((((((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((Bob))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I dont know how we move on, but I hear you both and offer all the hugs and support I can while we try and figure it out. And let me know what to do when you figure it out because I am lost too!

Take good care,

Son x
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

jasonkl

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2012, 06:09:32 AM »
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Bob, John , Sonya))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry counld not write any more last night, I would have woke up at the computer this morning had I not stoped when I did. My phone is always on and I do not sleep much these days as I have found my wife likes to visit me in my dreams and most of the time it is not a pleasent visit. If any of you need someone to talk to or someone to listen I would be more than happy to. Pm me and I will give you my number.

Hopeing today is a better day for us all.
Jason

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2012, 09:57:16 AM »

Thinking of you, Lisa and sending lots of understanding.

(((((((Lisa)))))))

Terry

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2012, 11:04:16 AM »
Hi Lisa,

After my surviving son died, I suffered with terrible panic attacks to the point where I couldn't leave the house. What I've always done and it has not been easy, trust me is to stay physically active.

This morning, I awoke with anxiety, which is rare but I attribute that to my Father's death. I went right outside and re-potted all of the miniature rose bushes that I've been sent since Dad died and my son's Angel Date and was also very aware of my breathing; breathing deeply in and out. It sounds like a simple thing, to breathe but when we're grieving, we don't breathe properly and we deprive our brains of oxygen and we can become more anxious, disoriented and basically, just unable to function. Through my years of grieving, I've learned that I need to stay very aware of my breathing. The added benefit to that is also being able to sleep better.

A little exercise I was taught and one that works well when anxiety or a panic attack is nearing: Breathe in, deeply as hard as you can and roll your eyes upward as you're breathing in. It may cause you to become a little dizzy the first time you do it, but it goes away. Then, exhale, all the way out. Very SLOW and very DEEP. After 6 or 7 really, very deep breaths in and out and the most important thing is rolling your eyes upward....you will feel very relaxed. Some call it self-hypnosis. I call it...something that works!!!

Try it and let me know. It's saved me more times than I can count. It's also put me right to sleep! I call that a good thing. :)

(((((((Lisa))))))))
« Last Edit: January 31, 2012, 12:42:29 PM by Terry »

browneyedgirl

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2012, 01:33:00 PM »
(((((((((Lisa, Bob, Jason, John, Terry, Sonya)))))))))))))))

"They" say time heals all wounds...it's not true......it just puts a scab on it, it will always hurt, but it will ease, or at least it did for me. 

lots of love.   
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

MyLou

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2012, 02:58:20 PM »
(((((((((((((( BOB ))))))))))))))))) You are right lost and tired, ugh !!

((((((((((((( JOHN ))))))))))))))))) If you figure it out let me know my friend !!

((((((((((((( SONYA ))))))))))))))) I will let you know if I figure it out !!

((((((((((((( JASON )))))))))))))))) Thank you and you will get that call :)

(((((((((((((( PAM ))))))))))))))))) Thank you so much I hold onto those words.

I know this is so RAW to all of you that began this journey and a hard one at that. 

Thank for caring and sending me prayers and hugs.  It means more to me than you know. 

Love,

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

MyLou

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2012, 03:09:42 PM »

Hi Terry,

You've been through so much.  I don't know how you do it or even have the strength.  You always offer kind words, hugs even through your pain. My heart breaks for you.  I can't even imagine loosing a child.

I guess we do forget to breath through our grieving.  I will try the exercise boy can I use a good night sleep.  I haven't slept through the night for 14 mths now.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Love always,

Lisa

((((((((((((((((((((((((( TERRY )))))))))))))))))))))))))))
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

Doug1222

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2012, 05:10:53 PM »
Some call it self-hypnosis. I call it...something that works!!!

I recognized that from self-hypnosis. I did a lot of self-hypnosis when I was a teenager. I recently got back into it when this whole crisis started, and it helps tremendously.

I do that exact breathing exercise if I don't have time to do a full hypnosis, and it really, really helps.
Doug

arthur

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2012, 11:02:02 PM »
Hi Lisa! Its good to hear from you!
There's been alot of great advice given the the others..here's my 2 cents worth..

When I get anxious..I get a nervous type-energy that makes me antsy.  I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on anything-but I do feel a need to move . What I do is to go for a fast walk or exercise. I grab my ipod,turn it up, start walking fast, and keep going until I feel drained. Or I goto the gym and try a new routine out that I've never done b4. It doesn't always work for me, but the endorphines released by activity relaxes me alot. I find that doing these things also gives me perspective on my grieving.  Also praying to God in a very personal informal way for strength to deal with my mental anguish really helps as well..if the results aren't always immediately evident, I find I can see my prayers answered at a later time and in a way I don't expect. Calling a friend you can trust to really help you with your anxiety also helps alot. Lastly there is nothing wrong with crying! I cry everyday and it does help my grief.  I find when I can't get the tears out just praying to God get them flowing and it sure helps alot. God bless you Lisa. I'm suffering grief and anxiety with you as well. I fact I've been invited to a superbowl party with some people I don't particularly like and can't communicate with at all are going to be at. I am in a quandary whether I should attend...I am having some anxiety over this. I know it will be very uncomfortable if I show up.   Haven't made a decision yet if I will go. Oh well. Take care and hang in there Lisa! -arthur

angie

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #13 on: February 01, 2012, 01:30:57 AM »
(((((((((((((((((((((( LISA ))))))))))))))))))))))))

I wish i could offer u advice but i dont have a clue on this one Thinking of you and hoping you get a decent nights sleep.

          love n hugs
              Angie
              xxxxxx

MyLou

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Re: WHEN WILL IT STOP
« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2012, 04:08:26 PM »
((((((((((((((( ARTHUR )))))))))))))))))))

Thank you.  I do workout.  I actually have been doing my workouts at home.  I am planning on going back to the gym next week. Oh yes, I pray to God a lot.  Yes and I do the crying, they do say it helps heal but it sure hurts like hell.

You hang in there too my friend.


((((((((((((((((( ANGIE ))))))))))))))))))

I understand and it's OK, just being my friend works  :icon_flower:, Love and Hugs to you !!!


Always,

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again