bad husband

[Terry]

Jason, just wanted to share with you that there is nothing ABnormal when grieving. There are no rules. Whatever we need to do to get through the day is our own way of dealing with their death. And, when that brutal and harsh reality sets in that they are really not coming back, well, it just hurts. Again, it's pain on top of pain.

Try to do something nice for yourself today. Stop at Starbucks for a comfort drink. (lots of heavy cream) Get that tattoo you may have always wanted or that way cool haircut!!! Surprise yourself!

And, keep writing and talking to your precious wife.

Love,
Terry

[sonya]

Hi Jason,

the bargaining bit is something that I keep dpoing and revisiting in different ways. Ifind that I go through a patch of not being able to accept that it has really happened and, like you say, doing a 'deal' subconsciously almost...If I do this then you can come back because you really havent gone.

Then a phase where I 'realise' that it is true and as has been said, it just hurts.

I dont think you are crazy, its just one of the steps in grieving that so many go through and revisit time and again. All I can say is that it appears to be lessoning with each cycle.

(((((((((((((((((((((In my thoughts)))))))))))))))

[jasonkl]

(((((((((((((((Sonya))))))))))))))))))

Barganing what a prefect word. I had not though of it that way. Just though I was going crazy. This all make sence now. Well as much sence as anything right now can. I can not thank you enough for putting a meaning to what I was doing.

((((((((((((Terry))))))))

Thank you for reminding me that there is nothing "abnormal" about what I do and how I act. I know you have told me this before and I am sure you will have to tell me again. I want so badly for this not to be normal that someone will tell me there is something wrong so prehaps it can be fixed and I will be all better. Some where in my head I know this is not true that what I am experancing is normal reaction to lossing the love of my life, but still I hope.

Jason

[sonya]

Wow a grief pill to fix it all...sounds amazing, but not sure if i would take it for long. maybe just a doctor who can unscrew my hewad and rinse my brain in tepid water while i rest a while....