Author Topic: boxing day  (Read 1705 times)

IMUM

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 31
    • View Profile
boxing day
« on: December 26, 2011, 07:42:19 PM »
well christmas has come and gone for another year and i had a really good christmas day considering i thought i'd be a bit down since my grieving journey just began in september when my grief hit me hard. christmas day we hosted my husbands family dinner. and later that evening we travelled an hour to my grandmothers to see my moms side of family and have supper there. everything flowed so well that i was happy to be around people that loved me.

today is a different story... as we were exhausted yesterday we came home by 11pm and put our girls straight to bed and we crashed hard as well.today was clean up day and it was a slower moving day, just being lazy, so i showered and decided to just relax and maybe go relax and stare at the woodstove downstairs to kinda let me reflect on just how i was feeling. i said a silent prayer of thanks to the Lord for giving me strenght to get thru one day at a time and i was quiet and calm. but this evening as i decided to clean our room and get it in order i came across a jewellery box my mom gave me one christmas and it was a christmas jewellery box that twinkles out"we wish you a merry christmas" and i realised that she loved me soooo much as i do our children and that i wont be getting any more special daughter gifts from my mom. so i cried. and from then on until now i have been feeling a bit anxious while i finished tidying up the bedroom. i just want quiet today to just be still with my love for my mom but that cant happen here in my household. its a sighing evening where as i go about my tasks i sigh deeply every once in awhile. i had to shoo my hisband out of the room because he just wanted to talk about his visit with his dad and i just wanted to be alone. he gets offended when i dont want to listen and i understand where hes coming from.  my husband would like me to be the old melody where smiles and optimism were my best friends, and yes i long for my old self too, but this work needs to be done. as i write in this forum i feel a bit of release and relief because it helps to write it out maybe someone will understand and maybe i will help them out as well.

since november i have been plagued with colds ,3,so far and im just on the end tail of this cold. most of december was good, i was feeling pretty normal, its just today my grief again slowly crept up on me and i really hate it cause i kinda feel alone. buut tomoro we head to my dads to be with him for the rest of 2011 and im looking forward to that.
hoping everyone has a wonderful rest 0f 2011 and an even better 2012. my resloution is to try to take better care of myself thru this journey. because in august i got diagnosed with high blood pressure probably due to my stress and delayed grief. my health is important to me and my family.

take care everyone and big (((hugs))) to alll


melody:)

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: boxing day
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2011, 01:05:24 PM »
((((Melody))))

Thanks for sharing your Christmas with us. I'm happy to hear that you were surprised at the joy you could feel. It's there. It's always there. Just so hard to recognize, sometimes.

Then you had your down days but that's ok. That's why we cherish those good ones as they seem to help us, strengthen us for the days to come.

Please take care of yourself as we can get so sick when we're grieving, run down. I am feeling under the weather, also. Trying to sleep a lot.

Thank You for your message and your support regarding my precious Father.

My Love,
Terry

IMUM

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 31
    • View Profile
Re: boxing day
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2011, 12:51:19 AM »
 ((((terry)))

you have such a heart in you that i just admire.
with your loss you still can be here for all of us.
thank you!!!
it means alot to have you reply to me as well.
you will be in my prayers as your journey starts.

i will ttys:)

browneyedgirl

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2320
    • View Profile
Re: boxing day
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2011, 04:35:33 PM »
((((melody)))))
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven