Author Topic: I MISS YOU DAVIE  (Read 13759 times)

gaberax

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #15 on: January 14, 2012, 10:44:11 AM »
I agree with what the others are saying.  I went through the guilt phase as well, I think we all do...if I had only done this or that, talked her into going to the doctor's sooner, if I had picked up on things earlier, demanded more from the doctor...on and on and on.

The truth is we cannot change things, really.  Life and death take their course.  I was amazed how much was out of my control.  If I had the power....but I didn't and don't and never will.  Try to give yourself a break, you are only human, responsible for your self. God controls the rest.

I suggest you start a journal, either a physical book or an private online journal (http://www.blogger.com)  I have created two separate blogs, one that details my daily activity since Denise's death, my thoughts and feelings,  raw, unvarnished and truthful, and the other a blog that details Denise, particularly the things I remember....the things about her I miss.  There is also a link to photos of Denise.  I go to the blog when I remember something about her I am missing...her perfume, a particular dish she prepared, the funny things she said, something we did together..It will help me to remember as the years go by.

Good luck and God bless, angie.   ((((angie)))

If you need help with the online blog, let me know.

Bob
« Last Edit: January 14, 2012, 04:40:41 PM by gaberax »

sonya

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2012, 11:52:02 AM »
(((((((((((((((Angie)))))))))))))))

I wont say dont blame yourself because lots of people say that to me and it doesnt make any difference. I still blame myself.From reading messages on here though I am starting to realise that no matter what we do or dont do, almost everyone feels guilt at not being able to stop their loved ones passing.

I still have guilt for the things I did/not do but am trying to be kind to myself. Nothing I did was malicious. I had no idea that this would happen.

This sounds a bit like you too. You wouldnt have carried on if you had known wht was happening. You would have gone up to him.

Take care of yourself. Huge, massive hugs from me. xxxx

Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

angie

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #17 on: January 21, 2012, 05:31:14 PM »
                     ((((((   EVERYONE   ))))))))
       
            I have taken ALL your wise words on board and am trying to not be so hard on myself.We have to accept that sometimes things just happen whether we like it or not.Have decided to sew Davies fave TShirts together and make them into a blanket then whenever i feel  sad n lonely i can wrap myself up in it.I thing it will make me feel like he is close to me again.I have made a start on it and if nothing else it will give me something to focus on.
              Thank u for listening
                            xxxxx

arthur

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #18 on: January 21, 2012, 11:40:34 PM »
Hi angie..I am so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your husband last november. I am glad you are listening to the others on the board about not blaming yourself for your husbands death.  I know many on here have done the same thing including myself.  One piece of advice I can offer is to cry as much as you can...don't hold it in..and if you can't cry then write about your grief in a journal.  This journal doesn't have to have any rules to it at all other than to write about you grief..and make sure you do it fairly frequently. Forget about spelling,grammar,length, etc. The important thing is to get your grief out. Write whatever comes to mind.  I personally listen to sad music to get the grief out, and let the tears flow. I also talk to God  whatever /whoever  you conceive him to be. I am surprised at how much this has strengthend me and aided me in my grief..actually allowing me to get the pain out. I also talk to my wife alot. Also please forget the future for the time being.  I am sure you have heard this piece of advice before..but living day to day and moment to moment allows you to focus on your healing and to forget what is really of secondary importance.  I am so sorry that you have relatives who expect you to "get over it."  JohnK is right..people who say such nonsense really embarass themselves because what they say really says alot about the sorry state of their own lives. Ignore these people and gather those close to you who show you understanding and kindness. These are the people you need now. Take care of yourself angie and know you are not alone. arthur

sonya

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #19 on: January 22, 2012, 01:02:20 PM »
Hi Angie,

I think the t-shirt blanket sounds like a fantastic idea x
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

browneyedgirl

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #20 on: January 26, 2012, 04:41:10 PM »
Checking in on you, Angie...how are you doing?
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

angie

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #21 on: January 27, 2012, 02:04:52 AM »
Hi
                ((((((SONYA))))))
      Thanks for liking my tshirt blanket idea.I dont wanna let go of his belongings I guess.My ideas always sound good in my head its when i put them into practice that they become a nightmare.(lol) xx
                ((((((ARTHUR))))))
       I am finding it hard to cry .I dunno why cos i feel like I am on the verge of crying all the time.I have been keeping 3 journals since Davie died.In one I write him a letter just telling him abuot my day,n about the boys n just general chit chat.The 2nd one is my memory book and in that is everything i remember about him and the 3rd journal is just all my different and mixed up feelings.I talk to Davie all the time n hope he is listening (  that would be a first  LOL) xx
                  ((((((((BROWNEYEDGIRL))))))))
         Your post finds me in an OK place today which is better than where i was before!!  Hope this reply finds you in an OK place to xx
         
          ((((((((((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))))
     
                                         XXXXXXX

Doug1222

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #22 on: January 27, 2012, 07:13:06 AM »
Angie, first of all, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Have decided to sew Davies fave TShirts together and make them into a blanket then whenever i feel  sad n lonely i can wrap myself up in it.I thing it will make me feel like he is close to me again.I have made a start on it and if nothing else it will give me something to focus on.

That's a wonderful idea. My wife had a quilt made for our son of his T-shirts. It was for his high school graduation. It came out really neat. It's one of his most prized possessions. That sounds like something that would help a lot when you're missing Davie.

Once again, I am very sorry about your loss. I just read from the beginning, and that's about all I can think of to say. I'm sorry.

(((((((((((angie))))))))))))))
Doug
« Last Edit: January 27, 2012, 07:22:54 AM by Doug1222 »

angie

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #23 on: January 27, 2012, 04:59:36 PM »
        (((((((((((((DOUG))))))))))))))

         Hi.Nice to hear from you.Thankyou for your kind words.You have inspired me to pick up my needle and thread again and get on with getting "my blanket" finished.I am sure it'll be a work of art when it is finished???(well at least it will be to me).At first it was difficult going thro his clothes cos every tshirt brought back  memories but I hope it will be worth it in the end.

         Angie
            xxx         

Doug1222

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #24 on: January 27, 2012, 05:16:14 PM »
        (((((((((((((DOUG))))))))))))))

         Hi.Nice to hear from you.Thankyou for your kind words.You have inspired me to pick up my needle and thread again and get on with getting "my blanket" finished.I am sure it'll be a work of art when it is finished???(well at least it will be to me).At first it was difficult going thro his clothes cos every tshirt brought back  memories but I hope it will be worth it in the end.

Angie,
The one my wife had done used the T-shirts as a quilt top. It really came out awesome. His aunt made it.

I think you will find it very comforting. It seems cathartic to make it, too. It's a wonderful idea, I think.
Doug

Terry

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #25 on: January 28, 2012, 02:20:45 AM »

Hi Angie,

I've just finished reading all of your posts and I just want you to know that you have my heart. Truly. I really like your idea for the 'T-Shirt Blanket.' I sleep in my son's T's often and also, my husband's shirts. I've always found it comforting. We do what we need to do for as long as we need to do it. We do anything and everything to help with the pain which helps to adopt more coping skills. This is such a long and hard journey but you're not alone. Sadly, many understand and walk 'with' you.

We all feel guilt to a certain degree. It's very normal after someone dies. In our own time, we learn to work through it and then we find a way to live with it. And, that's a huge step because it's only then that we can begin to grieve in a healthy manner and start to heal to where we are called to rejoin life again.

I know it's hard, but try to be ever so gentle with 'you' and know that your great pain is fueled by the great love you felt for your precious Davie. I'm so sorry you're having to live without him. I do understand.

Keep posting. It helps, a lot!

((((((((Angie))))))))

Love,
Terry


angie

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #26 on: January 28, 2012, 04:56:23 PM »
         ((((((((((( TERRY  )))))))))))))

I read your reply today and i am glad i did.After reading it I sobbed and sobbed for about half an hour.Thankyou cos I havent been able to cry for about a week now .I knew the tears were there but I just couldnt let them out.
   It was the "know that your great pain is fuelled by the great love you felt for Davie" that hit home.
                   Wow
   I have never thought of any of this that way before.Whenever i feel down i am going to come back and read and re-read those words.You are an inspiration.
                       THANKYOU XXXX
                        Angie

sonya

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #27 on: January 30, 2012, 05:21:29 AM »
Hi Angie,

curious to ask how the blanket is getting on? And of course to check in on how you are feeling xxx
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

angie

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2012, 01:45:27 PM »
(((((((SONYA)))))))))

Feeling "up" today Hope you are in as good a place as you can be too.
As for my blanket.........well lets just say as i am in a good place it is coming on WELL(more like a huge cushion at the moment but one day it will be a blanket)

Angie XXXXXX

MyLou

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Re: I MISS YOU DAVIE
« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2012, 04:52:08 PM »
(((((((((((((( ANGIE )))))))))))))))))))))


That is so great you are making a blanket out of Davie's shirts.  Awesome !!

Once you have it finished maybe you can take a picture and show us your beautiful blanket.

Always,

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again