Here We Go . . .

[ScottW]

Hello old friends.  Sorry, it's been a while.  This past year has been quite a whirlwind.  My third child is 6 weeks old.  Evie Shoshana (Jori's Hebrew name) joins her brothers Jared (18 months) and Sidney (3 1/2).   We're also in the process of selling our home and buying another (cost savings).

Around this time last year (acutally right at Thanksgiving - the two year anniversary of Jori's death), I really 'went off the deep end'.  I ended up in very intensive in-patient therapy and - over the past 9 months - I've been feeling better than I ever have in life.

Now (literally today), I see the gray sky and the snow beginning to fall (Chicago) . . . I see it's 'that time of the year' again.  November 29 will be three years.  Thanksgiving, the holidays, Jori's birthday (12/20), her two sons' birthdays, my birthday . . . I'm getting nervous.  I'm getting sad.


Sometimes it's like Jori was never here.  It seems so long ago that we were able to speak.  Sometimes, I think it's her calling on the phone.  Anyway, just glad I have a place to voice my feelings.  Thanks for listening - or at least reading . . .
Scott

[browneyedgirl]

Hello Scott, my friend...thank you for posting.

Congradulations on the new addition, I think it's beautiful you named her after Jori.  I am very happy to read that you are doing better than ever.  

"That time of year" - yes, I know the feeling, my brother died in March, when the orange trees bloom, the smell takes me back every time.

I also can relate to the part you wrote about her never being here.....sometimes I feel like my brother's memory is slipping away - no one ever talks about him much; almost like he's been forgotten.  

Lots of love to you, your family and Jori's boys - how are they doing?

Love,
pam

[browneyedgirl]

Scott ~ please know that I am thinking of you and Jori's boys.

[helene]

Hi Scott,

I just wanted to say that I too am thinking of you during this most difficul time of year: not just the holiday season, but for you the anniversary of your dear sister Jori's birthday. I agree with  Pam that it is beautiful that you named your third child after Jori. I never had children and I see the joy that two little boys bring to my younger sister Julie and her husband. I know that your family is so precious to you and I wish you all the best with selling your house and buying another. I've certainly 'been there'!

Life goes on amidst our grief, so much so, that it can seem as if our loved ones were, as you said 'never there'. I am going through that regarding my sister Lesley who died a year and a half ago. Nobody in my family wants to talk about her any more or even mention her name. But I know Lesley was 'there' as you know Jori was. It sounds to me like you were very close siblings and you must have many precious memories of her. Hang on to that! And to your beautiful family.

I too am glad that you are doing so much better than you were last year. I know how it feels to be on the brink.


Love,

Helene

[Gail08]

Scott, it is good to hear from you again.  I fully understand how you feel about this time of year. It is extremely difficult for me as well.  I just have to stop from time to time and take deep breaths.  You have support from all of us here and I hope you are able to find peace with that support.