Welcome Sonya. My condolences on the loss of your husband, Tony. I would suggest you try and find a local grief/loss group at a local church, or via a hospital or hospice. What you are experiencing many others before you have been through and continue to experience. Getting through the grief may help you get control over the negative emotional responses (drinking too much, not eating properly, lack of sleep, etc...) I speak for myself in that I have experienced the same things as well. I am going to two separate groups weekly (
http://www.GriefShare.org) , working through as much as I can. I know that, at the end of the sessions, I will continue to struggle through the grief. It isn't a cure but it will provide tools to help me cope. And the talking about it with others who understand and can empathize helps.
There are some very fine people on these forums that you can chat with as well, night or day. I keep re-reading your post and I can identify with the emotion, the pain. I am just over three months in from the unexpected loss of my wife, Denise. I am past the numbing shock/pain and only now starting to really dealing with the deep pain...the absolute reality of it, the burden of it.
I wish you the very best. And I will pray for you. I pray you find the emotional support you will need in the next part of your life. Please hang around and lean on this forum's members, your friends, your family, your church...anyone that can help you navigate through this time. But know that you are not alone. There are others here in a similar situation. And we care. God bless you.
Welcome.