Every time someone offers their condolances, I relive the night I lost my Jen. I hope this doesn't upset anyone but I had to share it, hoping it will stop eating away at me. Before I tell you about the memory, I should tell you what happend frist. I was at work when she called, she had got into a fight with our sister-in-law. Our son tried to get in the middle and keep them apart and some how twisted his knee. I need to leave work to take him to the hospital. Needs less to say we got into a fight because the aurgument with the sister -in-law was over cigeretts and Jen told me she was trying to quit. We had just movd in with my bother and his wife to help my wife so she didn't fell alone all the time while I was at work,and to help me because I was starting to burn out trying to take care of her, the household and give our son as close to a normal teenage life as possible. Anyway I get back from the hospital with our son. She has already taken her bedtime meds, so I sit in the living room talk to my bother and try and figure out how we are going to make this work it only been 2 weeks and already there was a fight. This is where the nightmare really begins, my bother and his wife go to bed. I go to check on my wife, like I always do before getting ready for bed myself. I find her sitting up, but over and to the side face first in the blanket, nothing new she always falls asleep in some crazy postion. She trys to fight to stay awake on her meds. I go to wake her and move her, but something is wrong she doesn't respond and she feels cold. I lay her flat on her back grab her wrist check for a pulse can't find one, check her neck can't find one. Check her nose she not breathing, check her mouth airway is clear, grab her trauma bag( she was an emt before she got hurt, taught me what to do so I could help her study.) found her stethoscope and listened to her chest nothing. Grabed my phone and called 911. Tryed to tell the man on the phone that it was to late she was already gone, but he told me to start cpr and help was on the way. Did cpr for 5 min. untill medics got there. they worked on her for 20 mins. then told me they did every thing they could. This is my nightmare. This is what I live with that our last converation was in anger, that I never got to say I was sorry for acting like an as.. And the guilt of know with all she taught me I could save her life.
Topic: nightmare kind of graphic (Read 2130 times)
