Kevin, I sure know how you feel. I have the same thoughts myself. I really had found my purpose in life when I met Judy. But now shes gone...what am I still doing here? I don't have a purpose now. It's been over 9 months since she left (I still can't use that other word), and I just go through the motions of living, but it's no kind of life. Nights are the worst, I dread laying down and trying to sleep.
I went through what would have been our 27th anniversary in June. I do have to say (and I've heard this from others) that the actual day itself wasn't as bad as the days leading up to it. I stayed busy with family that day, I fought the temptation to lock myself up in my house.
Since then, though, I've been isolating myself from family for some reason. I guess I feel like I'm stuck in the same spot, while others are starting to resume their lives, getting back to their old routines. I don't have an old routine to go back to. Mine is over now, and I don't have a new one. I'm not sure anyone else in my family understands that, so I've just stopped communicating with them. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but at this point I just don't know what to say to them anymore.