Author Topic: Zylen (Kevin)  (Read 3508 times)

browneyedgirl

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Zylen (Kevin)
« on: September 06, 2011, 09:05:23 AM »
Hi Kevin  ~ just wondering how you're doing.....
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Zylen (Kevin)
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2011, 10:46:28 PM »

Kevin, you have my heart. Truly. These 'firsts' are so difficult and I'm glad you let us know. It hasn't even been 4 months since your wife died and I know your pain feels unbearable right now. Please know I understand. I lost 2 husbands. One in Vietnam and one just a little over 2 years ago. Every time I had good news, I would call him and I did this for months. I still find myself dialing his cell when I am out, just to say hi and "I Love You." It really does take a long time.

You could still get her roses. Set them in a vase on your kitchen or dining table and just talk to her. She is with you, Kevin. I just bought my husband 'The Best of Nascar' dvd, as our wedding anniversary just passed on the 30th of August. I played it all day. I could just see him smiling!!!

I wish I could do/say more but I know that words alone don't comfort. It's knowing others understand that seems to help the most.

Pam should be back either tomorrow or Monday and will be glad to see your post/update! She sure does stay in close touch with her guys on here, as she cares very much and you are all awesome! I just love a man who can be open with their feelings. (I also love the ones who can't!)

One day at a time. If you get a chance, read the post, "Just for Today." It may bring a few moments of comfort.

Much love,
Terry

DaveB

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Re: Zylen (Kevin)
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2011, 07:45:45 AM »
Kevin, I sure know how you feel. I have the same thoughts myself. I really had found my purpose in life when I met Judy. But now shes gone...what am I still doing here? I don't have a purpose now. It's been over 9 months since she left (I still can't use that other word), and I just go through the motions of living, but it's no kind of life. Nights are the worst, I dread laying down and trying to sleep.

I went through what would have been our 27th anniversary in June. I do have to say (and I've heard this from others) that the actual day itself wasn't as bad as the days leading up to it. I stayed busy with family that day, I fought the temptation to lock myself up in my house.

Since then, though, I've been isolating myself from family for some reason. I guess I feel like I'm stuck in the same spot, while others are starting to resume their lives, getting back to their old routines. I don't have an old routine to go back to. Mine is over now, and I don't have a new one. I'm not sure anyone else in my family understands that, so I've just stopped communicating with them. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but at this point I just don't know what to say to them anymore.

arthur

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Re: Zylen (Kevin)
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2011, 07:52:52 AM »
Kevin-I know what you mean when you say that you don't see the point of living anymore.  I still struggle with that myself now that Maureen is gone.
I look at my wrists and wonder why blood is till pumping through them when so much has been lost in my life. I don't know the reason why all of us here have
to go through this torture.  All I know is that I ask God daily to give me another reason to live.  I try to follow the Serenity prayer and live day to day, moment to moment.  This time is my life now, a succession of moments. Right now there is no future to me, as that has been taken from me.  I can't afford to think about the future, it causes me too many tears. The past and Maureen are gone. I am still trying to accept this but it is so hard. The Serenity prayer itself is so hard to follow. I pray that God will help me with following this prayer, it has become more or less a guidepost for my life since Maureen has died.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr
 Take care of yourself Kevin and God bless you in your grief. arthur

browneyedgirl

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Re: Zylen (Kevin)
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2011, 01:21:02 PM »
(((kevin))))

Thank you for posting. 

(((DaveB)))

(((Arthur)))
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

johnkmurray

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Re: Zylen (Kevin)
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2011, 07:05:39 AM »
Kevin,

I hope you got through your anniversary ok. That first one isn't easy. I went through that just over a year ago and while it wasn't a pretty sight it was very necessary. Mine involved a lot of tears and a lot of good single malt.

Like you I wonder why I was left on this earth and why Kit and I can't be together as we should be. Still, that is the new reality. Like you, I found that life had lost its purpose.

I talk to Kit regularly, share thoughts with her the same way I did when she was still alive. On a recent road trip to see family I talked to her much of the way there and back, as we'd done so many times on so many road trips we'd taken together. I find it comforting and reminds me that I need to get on with life, such as it is, because I know Kit is watching. That applies to all of us - those special ladies that gave our lives so much meaning are still with us, watching over us.


John

browneyedgirl

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Re: Zylen (Kevin)
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2011, 08:53:11 AM »
(((John))))

That was a very touching post.

((((John))))
« Last Edit: September 13, 2011, 04:05:31 PM by browneyedgirl »
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven