Dear Angela,
I am very sorry for your loss of your beloved husband. I am sorry that you and your children just wish things could be different and not missing him, having him physically with you all. I do understand that. I read this thread and I wanted to write you as I lost my husband suddenly of a genetic heart arrythmia and have had to have my three kids screened for similar trait since. It can be anxiety provoking, but, I have always found the grief of just wanting our family back all together to be the hardest thing. I am doing a little bit better these days. I credit walking, this site, and sharing the feelings of grief with others for at least allowing me to keep our life going as I know my Michael would want.
I was 42 and my husband 44. I am still pushing forward 3 and 1/2 years later.
I will say that I can think more clearly, finding some humor and fun again, and I am glad to report that our kids seem to be emotionally okay as they become young adults, mine do have some health issues, so far so good though. I know that you are younger and so aren't your children- so I felt I wanted to write you and tell you that I truly wish you continued strength and perseverance. I wish you the ability to eventually feel that some moments now in your new life are truly interesting and that some of that joy returns.
I am glad you found this site. We care, Terri