Author Topic: First birthday without my mom  (Read 16937 times)

swgirl094

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 23
    • View Profile
First birthday without my mom
« on: September 03, 2011, 06:31:17 PM »
Hi everybody, been a while since I have posted. I've been really busy starting graduate school and working full time. 

Tonight has been hard.  My first birthday without my mom is tomorrow.  She would always call me at different points throughout the days before my birthday with "updates" as to where she was and what she was doing when I was born.  Some were a little TMI, but we'd laugh.  I miss that this year.  I thought I was doing ok so far, but then had a break down tonight.  Tomorrow I will be celebrating at my dad's house, and it is always hard to be there anyway, but it will be especially hard on my birthday without my mom. 

It's been almost 9 months since she passed away.  I know that this is a year of firsts after her death, but it just still feels just as hard as the day she died sometimes.  I still suffer from great anxiety with health problems/hypochondria since she passed, and this year has been really tough.  I'm just emotionally exhausted.  Also my family is very torn apart right now for other reasons as well.  I don't want to go too into it, but my sister's husband did something awful/violating to my boyfriend and I about a month ago, and she is still with him.  It is ripping apart our already fragile family. 

Anyway sorry for rambling.  It's been a rough day, and just wanted to see if anybody had any thoughts/advice.  I feel like this will never feel normal again.  Everybody tells me this will become a new normal but I don't want/like this new normal. 

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: First birthday without my mom
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2011, 08:50:44 PM »

If it helps any, I understand what you're going through and you truly have my heart, having to deal with all of those 'first's' this year. And, Happy Birthday though I know it is bittersweet but please try and find a little joy in your day. Even if that means finding a quiet corner and thinking about one of those phone conversations you and your Momma had, and one in particular that made you smile. Remember how much your Momma loved you and this is 'her' day, too as much as it is yours. My Momma died in '77 and I still miss her so very much and that will never change. And, 9 months is still just yesterday. This is such a long journey.

You're never rambling. Don't ever feel that way. We all come here to share about how we're feeling, be that good, bad or really ugly. It's ALL OK!!

I don't know if there 'is' a normal. I know that we love and when we lose, we're in pain and we grieve. In time, and that time is different for us all, we find joy and happiness once again in our lives but I don't think it is ever the same without those we have lost. We will always miss them and especially around any date marking either their or 'our' memory and those darn holiday's. They are always the most difficult for most of us.

Wish I could do more but just know that we're here for you and keep posting/sharing! It helps, a lot!!

((((((swgirl)))))))

My Love,
Terry




browneyedgirl

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2320
    • View Profile
Re: First birthday without my mom
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2011, 09:40:52 AM »
(((swgirl)))

Happy belated birthday......I am so sorry that you have to go though it without your Mom. 

Nothing is normal after you experince a great loss....trust me.

Keep posting and come back and let us know how you're doing.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

browneyedgirl

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2320
    • View Profile
Re: First birthday without my mom
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2011, 09:02:06 AM »
Checking in on you, how are you?
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

swgirl094

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 23
    • View Profile
Re: First birthday without my mom
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2011, 09:22:33 AM »
Hi, sorry for not checking back in.  I've been pretty busy with work and grad school.  I'm doing ok.  We are coming around the time of year where she got sick last year (Thanksgiving) so talking about plans for this time of year are starting and have been tough.  I think being stressed out with work and school has not helped either.  Had a brief breakdown last night with my boyfriend, as I just feel like I miss her more and more every day and can't get over that she really is gone forever.  It just seems like life is so cruel, and that I will have to go through this for every other person in my life that I love at some point too.  How can life be like that?

Thank you again for all of your support, it really means a lot.

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: First birthday without my mom
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2011, 11:29:38 PM »


((((swgirl))))

It's so hard to say Good-Bye. I agree, at some point we will experience it and with so many people we love. This time of the year isn't anyone's favorite and please know we are here for you and we care. You are not alone.

Sending hugs & love!
Terry

browneyedgirl

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2320
    • View Profile
Re: First birthday without my mom
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2011, 08:49:06 AM »
  How can life be like that?

If I had a penny every time I thought that.....how could life take away my brother.....trust me I understand.

Thanks for checking in. 

(((swgirl)))
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven