Hi Terry,
It was so good to get a reply from someone. I am grateful. July 21st was the anniversary of my husband's death. He has been gone for 14 years. Even though every year at that time I would become sad, this year it has hit me harder than usual. The morning of my husband's death, I remember him giving me a hug and kiss goodby as he left for work. I had fallen asleep on the couch the night before. He left me a note reminding me to water is garden. He had such a green thumb. He worked out of town as a painter, so he would not have been home until the end of the week. He was going to call me that evening as he usually did when having to work out of town. Right before he was due to call, a police officer showed up at my door with the horrific news that my husband had died of a massive heart attack. I remember I just could not grasp what he was telling me because my husband was so strong. Now, it seems that friends have stopped calling and my kids have really tapered off on their visits and phone calls. All of this just makes it that much harder and I am that much lonlier. My house had always been full with family and friends, but most of all love. I was always called upon to help others, but now the phone has just stopped ringing. I try to fill up my days by doing useful things around the house, taking my dogs for a walk, running errands, but I miss my husband terribly. We would always go places together, talk in the evenings, watch TV together. Basically, we did just about everything together. I am just hurting and I don't know how to help myself. I have not been able to find a support group where I live, and that is when I came across this support group. Thank you so much for listening. Kandi