Board Tutorials/Guidelines/Chat Info

[Terry]

Thanks, Penny for reading the guidelines post and for your approval! I really appreciate it!

Hugs!

[blindsided]

“If we can't be open/share freely here...I think we're going to have a board where there are only pat cliché’s and tender wishes sent, and they won't reach a heart that has been beaten, violated and torn to shreds by the loss of our child.”

THIS IS MY OPINION

I do agree with this statement and think that is exactly where we are.

I had to read this a couple of times cause I couldn't get through it on the first reading.

Ok, I disagree!  Since you are going to just assume everybody will agree with you if they don't say something.

I do believe that we have control over nothing in this universe EXCEPT how we react.  If we are hurt or mad and react badly then so be it.  We are all human and we don't always put on our happy face. There is absolutely no way that we can truly put our feelings out here and not hurt someone... we do it without malice but it is going to happen. If you go down this path then you best define your interpretation of the word "respect" cause my interpretation might be different and so on and so on.

Just as you stated that you found no reason for warnings on some posts... well maybe my interpretation is that there needed to be a warning.  I think you might find yourself on a very slippery slope. 

Stuff has been going on behind the scenes with private messages for as long as I've been on this board (about 8 years) and are you saying you don't know about it??... well I find that hard to swallow cause I know in my own situation years ago I brought to Tom's attention and even forwarded the emails of harassment.  It wasn't the "boards" business as public so there is a need at times to handle things privately.  There is also a need for grownups to handle their own conflict and I hope if it got bad that it would be brought to Tom’s attention for no one should deal with harassment.

I have been very fortunate to stay in touch with numerous members of this board by email and private messaging.  Some of them are now my dearest friends and yes some of us even visit each other annually.

Jeanne
Philip’s mom forever

[Terry]

Hi Jeanne,

I absolutely didn't believe that everyone was going to agree with me and that was never my intention when posting this. It was to hear how everyone was feeling about the board. Openly. Honestly. And, I welcome everyone's input. There can't be any positive change if another feels differently and doesn't express it.

The *Warnings* on the posts or as I suggested, the title describes it's content, and I have always posted this way. And, I've found that most here do, too. If I post about my Dad, Dad will be in my title or if I'm posting about feeling really bad, my title will be.."Feeling bad" and if someone is already feeling worse than usual, then they wouldn't want to read my post.

And, I agree that no one here should ever have to deal with being harassed. Personally, I have never received a private message that wasn't caring so, no I am not aware of these harassing emails or private messages.

I think it's very important to talk about the memories that haunt some of us. I always have and I never received a message privately because of it. At times I would place something in the title and others I would just free write. But, it was regarding my pain and I always received support.

I can relate as my closest friends, also are those who have been the greatest support to me, and have been from this board. Who better to understand our pain and listen with an open heart?

(my connection is so slow tonight and I keep getting knocked off, so please bear with me!)

Love,
Terry






    
   

[AC Mom]

My two cents worth. . . .

There have been guidelines on posting on forums sinse the internet started some 20+ years ago.  No one is going to agree with everything that is posted.  When moderating a emotionally charged board there has to be some guidelines.  The guidelines are not in force to stop people from posting, they are there so people do not read things they don't want to read.

I have never used a forum, and there have been many thru the years, that didn't have the "warning" guideline.  People have the right not to read things that might upset them.  On the other hand, people have to be able to post their emotions on these boards and thats where the guidelines come in.

It gives everyone the right (so to speak), to say what they need to say in a post and other people the right not to read a post that might be upsetting to them.

I think the guidelines that Terry mentioned are common on any emotionally charged forum, and I think they are needed here.

Love and Hugs
Peggy

[Terry]

Thanks, Peggy for reading the guidelines post and for your input. I really appreciate it!

Hugs!!

[Terry]

Hi All!

To register for Webhealing, click on the 'register' tab above. Once you are approved, contact me if you would like a chat account, as I will be manually registering all members.

Thank You,
Terry