Author Topic: Bad day yesterday  (Read 2919 times)

Sad and Lonely

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Bad day yesterday
« on: June 27, 2011, 09:41:00 AM »
Hi Gang, I had a very bad day yesterday. There was a memorial mass for my wife and for all the people that had died there from Dec 2010 to April 2011. It was held at the Hospice where my wife had died on Feb. 2, 2011.  I think it set me back a bit. It was held at the Hospise where she died, the service was just beautiful and they erected a small plaque in memory of my wife with her name on it and they issued each one of us a carnation that we could take home. When I saw her name on the wall with all the other people that had died in that 4 month period, I just lost it as I knew a lot of the people that had died and I could not control my emotions any longer. I cried all night for her and again this morning. I guess it all started on Saturday, I went to a funeral for another friend of ours, she would have been 62 years old in August and she was married for 42 years. Her age and length of time that they were together was identical to my wife and our life together. Life can be so cruel.I went to a car show and had a friend stay with me, I am glad you had a good time at back to the 50s, it was so nice to see you again, I only wish I could have been a better host. I am having a hard time adjusting to the loss of my wife and my concentration is not as good as it should be. I have put my motorhome up for sale as I find it is to hard to be in it without my wife, I doubt I will find any buyers in this economy but I thought I would try. I am not sure if I will go to Grand Rapids or not, that was my wife's favorite camping spot and she so loved to sing around the campfires there and she used to get such a big crowd around her to listen to her sing and play her guitar. I don’t know how I could handle that. John I love you guys and you and all your family have all been such great friends to my wife and myself, I hate to bum you out like this but I just had to let you know what I am dealing with, I am trying so hard to get my life back on track but it seems every step I take forward I go back about five. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, only God knows.

Sad & Lonely
Sad and lonely

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Bad day yesterday
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2011, 11:40:35 AM »
Sad and Lonely,

I understand how difficult that must have been as I also attended a candlelight vigil one year after my son died along with others who had losses on or around the same time, at the funeral home. The smells, the flowers...all of it was just too much. It brought me back to that awful day. I'm sorry you're feeling bad.

I'm sure your friend appreciated your being there for him. Just the fact that you 'showed-up' is saying a lot!

Please don't apologize for venting...it is why we are here. To support you through a very difficult time in your life. As you described, every step forward, you take five back. That's all a part of this grief journey and will be that way for awhile. Be patient with yourself and know that everything you are feeling is due to the great love you felt and also, lost.

Thanks so much for the update. I have been thinking of you!

Sending hugs.

((((((((((((((Sad and Lonely))))))))))))

My Love,
Terry

browneyedgirl

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Re: Bad day yesterday
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2011, 12:10:06 PM »
Hi Sad and Lonely,

I am so sorry.......the service sounded lovely, thank you for sharing with us. 

Please know that I am thinking of you and holding you close to my heart, I just can't imagine what you're going though, losing your soulmate.

((((Sad and Lonely)))))

Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Sad and Lonely

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Re: Bad day yesterday
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2011, 12:44:34 PM »
Hi Terry and Browneyedgirl,

Thanks for compasion and understanding. I don't know why my grief is hitting me so hard again. I thank you all for alowing me to vent my frustrations every now and again. I have been going to grief share meetings each week and they seem to help. Talking with other people that have had similar loses in their life, seem to understand what I am going through. I am so thanlful for this site, it helps a great deal to know that there are people out there that know what it truely is like to lose some one you love. As I said before my wife was my best friend, my soulmate, we loved being together and doing things together and now I feel so lost without her. I know she is in a better place and she is not in pain anymore, for that I am grateful but I still miss her. Well tonight is our grief share meeting night, and I look forward to going, as while I am there I do feel a little bit better. I thank you all again and I hope you all have better days ahead.

May God Bless You,
Sad and Lonely
Sad and lonely

browneyedgirl

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Re: Bad day yesterday
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2011, 05:00:50 PM »
Grief is so unique to all of us, that it's hard to understand why you're feeling a certain way or why it comes in "waves".

You're certainly welcome....we are here to listen anytime!
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Terry

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Re: Bad day yesterday
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2011, 05:52:07 PM »

I'm glad the meetings are helping and wishing you, also better days ahead! Thank You!

One day at a time and for a long time, they are all so different, as is our grief. Feel the weight of sorrow lift from your heart, if just a bit and if just for a moment...as you remember that you are cared for here.

(((((((((((((((((((((Sad and Lonely)))))))))))))))))))