Author Topic: Apology  (Read 1742 times)


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« on: June 22, 2011, 10:14:14 AM »
Retrospect is a funny thing and the distance of time sometimes both clears and muddles things.  I am confused regarding all that happened since my reply to Don's message and the following responses.  However, I have come to realize that I owe Don (hope you are reading) an apology in that my timing in "mouthing off" stank.  Looking back, I should have sent you a private message asking you to re-word so there wouldn't be any confusion.  My biggest regret is that I, in my own fashion of needing to champion the underdog, felt such a strong need to "protect" any parents that may have felt the sting of words that included their "imperfect" child, shot off my reply.............without thinking that Donny's angel date had just passed and that Father's Day was on the way.  Please, Don, accept my profound apology for not thinking that through.  I am so sorry that I caused you further distress.  I would like to extend my apology to all the members here who so clearly have included Don in this tight group, appreciating him for all the good he has done here, and wanting to hold him up when he was feeling so hurt.  In hurting Don, I obviously upset you.  Please know it was unintentional as well (although its clear not all will agree.)

Just to be clear, I do not regret my words.  Only my timing and that I could have sent them to Don privately.  Lesson learned.  I continue to believe in our freedom here to say what we need to say but that certain comments do not belong on a parental grief board.

Like so many, this board has been a saving grace for me.  Where else can we turn to when we need to cry out loud and receive such implicit understanding?  As I'm feeling a bit "thrown overboard", I think I need to move away from here.  Of course there are no adequate words of thanks for all the comfort I have received here but I do thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Wishing you all comfort and peace.  Thinking of our kids, all our kids.

Wendy, Keith's mom (and Scott, Holly and Wade)


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Re: Apology
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2011, 11:56:20 AM »


I just sent you a message and seems it has crossed with yours written here.

I would also like to apologize to you, Wendy and to Paula as I should have been more supportive and relayed that, when a message/messages were implying that you, Wendy, Paula and anyone else disagreeing with Don's statement were being selfish. You had and continue to have every right to voice your concerns. You have always questioned with a kind heart and have always been very supportive and loving to all here. Your leaving would be another great loss.

Again...No one forced Don off of this board. Especially those who questioned Don's statement and even the motive for that statement. And, Don also has every right to do the same. If we don't "agree to disagree" we will never learn from one another.

Another reason I did not set any guidelines when asked to moderate this forum. In the past, we couldn't mention Holidays, as that hurt some. We couldn't mention God, as some were angry with Him. There were a list of phrases as long as my arm that we dare not mention, either. After reading my OWN request for a guideline about two years ago, I since then deleted it as it, too would have caused others to have to dig too deeply before sharing their sacred words.
We don't need to walk on eggshells here in this holy place where we gather to share of our beautiful and precious children and the deep pain we live in due to their absence from our lives.

If words are hurting another, they simply need to state that, as Wendy and Paula did without a hint of attacking. It was merely a disagreement.

And, as we move forward on our journey, allow me to lend a gentle reminder to all who post here: If you are continuing to post here, it is because you are a member of our online family of bereaved Mom's and Dad's and please, by all means disagree whenever your need arises, but if your intention is to cause harm to another member by way of attacking their words or their integrity, please know that your post will not be welcomed.

I would also like to apologize to all of our new Mom's and Dad's that, at this time have just been reading and are finding the sharing here, the love shared here to be very comforting. I hope you will continue to read and when you are ready, share your story with us. We look forward to hearing from you!

As a long time and valued member of this board, I am asking you, Wendy to please reconsider leaving your online family. You would be dearly missed. Take a break, if you feel that's what you must do, but I look forward to your supportive posts and always, sound advice in the future.

You have My Love,

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

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Re: Apology
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2011, 03:25:16 PM »
I agree with Wendy and Terry. Timing was poor (Donny's Angel Date and Father's Day) so I ditto the apologies.
XO Paula
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings