How much more can I take...

[Soo Sad]

Just recently found this site. I feel like a black cloud is hovering over me. It started in November of 09 when my mother passed. She was found in her apt. by the Meals on Wheels lady that was delivering her lunch. I was devastated.  Then in June of 2010, My boss, who was also a very good friend died of lung cancer. Then on 2/13/2011 my wife, who was also the love of my life, and my best friend unexpectly died at the age of 43. It was a typical Sunday. We got up, she started laundry, as I cooked breakfast. Later, she said she was going into the bedroom to watch a movie and nap. At 3:02 that afternoon I went to wake her and found her. I was by far the worst day of my life. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. Talk about a kick in the
crotch! I am so sad and lonely. I have been a basket case since. I hate being in this house all alone. I am 48 and this is the first time in my life that I have been alone. The silence in this place is defeaning, and it is driving me mad. Thanks for letting me share,
R.I.P. Megan. I will love you forever

[browneyedgirl]

Hello Soo Sad ~

I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother, your friend, and your wife, Megan.  I can't imagine the pain you are in, I am so sorry. 

Welcome to Webhealing, there are many people here who understand, and there is always someone to listen. 

Be very patient with yourself, everything is still so fresh. 

Please come back and share more if you wish.

Sending love and light.

[Terry]

 "Today was especially diffcult due to it being our wedding anniversary. It's nearly 2 am here in Phoenix and I can't sleep. It has to get better."

Soo Sad,

I'm so sorry to read of your many losses and your most recent loss, the love of your life and wife, Megan. It really is a "kick" and drains us of any resources we believed we had to be able to cope with such a sudden and devastating blow to our hearts, our souls. And, any date marking their memory just knocks the little left we had in us...OUT of us!!! Please know you are not alone and you never have to be. We spend years loving them and in an instant they are gone. Take care of your heart and just know that whatever you are feeling is ok. It really does take a long time to come to grips with such a harsh reality and then fumble our way through the darkness to capture a glimmer of light and the promise of it's echo.

Together....is how we make this journey.

Know you are loved and cared for here. I'm glad you found us here at Webhealing, and Welcome to our family.

Try to take it one day at a time....one hour is much easier.

Sending you big hugs and know you have my love and understanding.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Soo Sad))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Terry

[mousewife]

Soo Sad,

I am so sorry for the tremendous amount of loss you are experiencing.  It's got to be so devastating.  I know the silence is killing you.  I remember how horrilble it was for me during the first several months.  This was the time when I became aware of how much the tiny every day sounds my husband made had comforted me.  The silence due to the loss of those sounds was dreadful.  That did get better and now I can deal with the quiet.  But, even after four years, I still miss my soulmate.  I think I will always miss him.  I just continue to hope that it will get better.  It has gotten better, I'm just not always satisfied with where it is at.  Tomorrow, May 25th is my anniversary.  It would have been our 26th.

I am sorry you are having to go through this, and sorry for all of us who are left behind.

Peace and Healing,
mousewife

[allalone]

So sad,
I am so sad for you. it is devastating to loose a spouse and the pain is intense. I lost my husband my soul mate for 21 years, 3 months ago and the grief tears me apart. I also feel for you for your multiple losses for I too have had multiple losses of close family members in close succession in the past 2 years and more so in the past few months. My mother passed away after a brief illness and then my husband died 3 months later. The grief is compounded and on Saturday we had 2 other deaths in our families. Suddenly it is almost unbearable. But you will feel better. You will always miss your beloved Megan, but the pain will be lesser. I found the grief go up and down but as time passes there are less days of intense pain.

May God comfort you and bless you

Allalone