Author Topic: No one to follow  (Read 3157 times)

cewilso

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 9
    • View Profile
No one to follow
« on: May 22, 2011, 09:55:37 PM »
I lost Wayne on Dec 14.  It was a horrible accident - he fell and hit his head on the tile floor.  We were talking one minute and a few seconds later I heard him hit the floor.  He had massive bleeding on the brain and died the next day.  He was always the leader and I the follower.  I just go thru the motions and put up a good front for other people but my heart is just not in anything anymore.  I not only lost my best friend but aylso my daughter and 2 grandchildren in the process.  My son still tries to help but he has his own life and wife and I don't want to be a burden for them.  My Mom has been very ill for the past 2 months and I see her slipping away.  On Mothers Day, my sister and my daughter took my mom to eat and my son and I were not invited.  My son was told to wait til my mom returned home to come by and visit.  I do my part to take care of my mom.  I don't have anyone close to talk to and my house is isolated.  Everyone else has their own lives - husbands or partners, grandchildren and work.   I just don't fit in anymore. 
I have been looking for a support group but haven't been to any yet.  Not sure if that will help.  I have been reading on this site for a while and it does help but the silence here is sometimes deafening.
Carolyn

browneyedgirl

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2320
    • View Profile
Re: No one to follow
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2011, 01:49:33 PM »
(((Carolyn)))

I am so sorry for the pain you are in.  Please know I am thinking of you.....
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

tootie223

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 12
    • View Profile
Re: No one to follow
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2011, 02:33:57 PM »
Dear Carolyn,
   I know exactly how you feel. Losing someone in an accident is so hard to adjust too. You never have the time to say “Good-Bye”. It’s like your life changes in an instant and you have no control over it. I lost my husband that way almost a year and half ago. I still feel like he should still be here with me. Your life sounds like mine. I also live in an isolated area. My son lives about 3 hours away. I know what you say about not wanting to be a burden on him. I found writing a continuous letter to my husband helps somewhat. I just talk to him in it. I feel somewhere he can hear me. You will find that the small things to figure out are the ones that get you in a tail spin. Sometimes it can be the “Dumbest” things. You need to give yourself some time. I know that is something you hear a lot, but it’s true. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt anymore, it’s just that the constant depression will let up some.  I am still working. That helps me get out of the house and around people. And you are right, the quietness in the house can be deafening. Like you I read a lot from this site.  Know that you can post here anytime you what. I hope you find the strength here to help you through this terrible time.
   Prayers and hugs to you

Tootie223

mousewife

  • nospam
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 277
    • View Profile
Re: No one to follow
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2011, 09:52:51 PM »
Carolyn,

It is heartbreaking to hear you say that you feel that you just don't fit in anymore.  I know that feeling of not fitting in.  I think it is that we don't know how to "fit in" in the new life that we didn't ask for, and we can't "fit in" in the old life because it doesn't exist any more.  It doesn't help when the family is torn.  I am so sorry for your pain. I hope that there can be some reconciliation for your family. Please know that people care about you.

Peace and Healing,
mousewife

cewilso

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 9
    • View Profile
Re: No one to follow
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2011, 06:18:47 AM »
Thanks very much for your replies.  they really help.  Last week was the six month anniversary of Waynes passing.  I was devestated all over again.  I realized just how alone I am.  I just sat in the house and cried all week. 
I finally went out and ran the weedeater (which is an all day job for me) because he kept the yard work done.  Then my son took me to dinner to celebrate fathers day. 
Just want to say thanks again to everyone here - sorry that we have to be here under sad circumstances.  One day at a time we will get stronger.  My thoughts are with you all. 
Carolyn

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: No one to follow
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2011, 01:33:02 PM »

Hi Carolyn,

How nice that you and your son spent Father's Day together. Yard work can be very therapeutic. I think I have that down to an art form! :)

So true...One day at a time. This is how we do it!

Sending you hugs and lots of love,
Terry

(((((((((((((((((((Carolyn)))))))))))))))