Hi Pam and Terry thank you both for your supportive replies. Seeing that little girl in a wheelchair was tough. It reminded me so much of Maureen, the way the chair moved when it turned, the way they abruptly stop with a small jerking motion after moving around. I am so glad that Maureen doesn't have to be in one those things again, that she doesn't have to suffer her disability ever again. I am praying for the little girl and her mother who live nearby me for their well being and protection.
My doctor tried to put me on prozac and while that didn't make me sick it made me sleep all day, so again these behavioral drugs aren't for me and I think I'll refuse the next concoction the doctor offers me as well. I am having a little difficulty with my grief group but nothing as bad as the last one. I guess I shouldn't expect anything out of anyone and I'll be ok, which isn't a bad idea considering how the people I can relate to the most are also suffering alot. I think I'll feel better if I participated a little less in the grief group and start to spend more time with my family. I took my wedding ring off and put it away due to a dream i had about Maureen. I dreamt that she said she was coming back home again and had been off visiting a contest of some sort. I was overjoyed in the dream, but even in this dream I realized that Maureen is not really coming back. The very next thing I dream is being in a party and people serving me cake and delicious chinese food and celebrating. When I woke up I realized that the time had come for me to remove the ring and put it away, and to begin my new life without the wedding ring and Maureen.
Its strange how powerful dreams can be. I also gave Maureen's wedding dress away to a close friend of hers for her friend's daughter, which was difficult.
Thanks again for your care on this website, Terry and Pam. It is so very much appreciated. God bless you,
arthur