Oh my Lord Helen, so much of what you said I can feel and sympathize with. My family was not always "good" relationships. My one sister has such a chip on her shoulder against our parents for certain things. She was so damn rebellious when growing up, and always getting in trouble, getting more harsh discipline than myself or David and younger sister. The more she was punsihed, she rebelled. She doesnt see to this day how much she brought her situation on herself. She's taken David's death as hard as anyone and wished she could have been here to help support me. Our burying David this summer will be extremely hard on her, all 3 of us. BUt is has to be done. Some day her anger and hurt will dissipate if she lets it, but she's so angry much of the time. and it causes conflict w/ me. Having to handle everything when it came to losing David, was really hard, but it almost would have been worse if she had been here. We'll see what happens this summer. When you are ready, then post your poems. We love them here at webhealing, and love you, Take Care of yourself, that way you can take care of those you love. deebee