Author Topic: My Sister's Husband asked my best friend out on a date  (Read 3313 times)

LAsmom

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
    • View Profile
My Sister's Husband asked my best friend out on a date
« on: February 08, 2011, 06:32:24 AM »
So it's only been three weeks since my sister died.....my friend who is getting divorced (still living with and married to her husband) has been helping my brother in law with his new house (I introduced them and encouraged the working relationship).

He told me he asked her out after the divorce is final....since then they have been communicating via text.  My friend hasn't told me anything...so what do I do?

SarahW

  • nospam
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 316
  • The moment a child is born,the mother is also born
    • View Profile
Re: My Sister's Husband asked my best friend out on a date
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2011, 06:13:39 PM »
So it's only been three weeks since my sister died.....my friend who is getting divorced (still living with and married to her husband) has been helping my brother in law with his new house (I introduced them and encouraged the working relationship).

He told me he asked her out after the divorce is final....since then they have been communicating via text.  My friend hasn't told me anything...so what do I do?

Wow.  I am sorry you have to deal with this so soon after the loss of your sister.

The important thing, I think, is to do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

You can't control the actions of others, but you can control what you will or won't be around.  Only you can figure out if this dating arrangement is something you can tolerate, or not.

If it is too upsetting to you, don't feel guilty about putting some distance between you and the relationship that is developing between your bro-in-law and your friend.  Just tell them plainly that it is too stressful for you, and you can't be around them right now.

On the other hand, if you are feeling like you really need your friend, and you can handle the dating without being overly stressed, then go ahead and maintain your friendship, and don't feel guilty about that, either.

You are dealing with a tragic loss and the pain of bereavement.  Think of yourself and be good to yourself.

All my sympathy for your loss.
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. -- Emily Dickinson

You were a gift

helene

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 606
  • My Dad
    • View Profile
Re: My Sister's Husband asked my best friend out on a date
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2011, 01:48:35 PM »
Dear LAsmom,

I totally agree with SarahW. I too offer you my most sincere condolences for the loss of your sister. I lost mine last July of 2010. I can hardly remember what the first three weeks, let alone first couple of months were like for me after my sister died. I'm still in shock, so my heart truly goes out to you in your pain and grief!

As I say, I really feel that SarahW shared some very heartfelt, wise thoughts with you. Please take care of yourself first and formost, especially during these early days. Think what FEELS better for you - either to stay in contact with your friend or let it go for awhile perhaps. I have found that life just seems to go barging onwards-ho full-force after losing our loved ones, and we're just somehow supposed to keep up with it all. People are going to do what they are going to do I have found. And that is very difficult to handle, especially when you are in the throes of grief! I try to take one day at a time and try to figure out what I can handle and what I am not able to deal with. Do take care of yourself first, as SarahW says. When you feel up to it, please post again. I care too.

With love and hugs,

Helene


Helene & Lesley