I am in a place now where it is Feb. My most hated month of the year. Feb. 13 will be 6 years that we found Jason. I am still brought to my knees remembering, missing, smelling cigarette smoke, looking at his picture. At the same time, I am in complete utter joy and peace as we get ready to drive to see our 6 week old granddaughter. We have not missed a weekend, I know that will slow down but now, she takes my heart and holds it in her little hands. But then there is Jason, who will never, in the physical sense know her. I tell her, I show her pictures, but she will not know him. But how can I justify both feelings. My brain goes from one to another... help, some of you further along this road most probably have or have had these feelings. The truth be known, I feel guilty.
Love, Rebecca Jason's MOm