Hi and thanks for the update! Congrats on your new place! It sounds like you're doing your best to settle in, although you're lacking in provisions at this time. That's Ok! You'll do just fine. Nothing happens over night, right?
I can certainly understand wanting to stay busy but at the same time if we get lost in a project and neglect our emotional needs, we usually end up paying a price for that. Because regardless of how busy we are or what is going on in our lives, we still need to take the time to grieve.
You and your Mom lived together, so there will no doubt be an adjustment period and those feelings may come and go for quite awhile. Your loss is still very new and I would just take things one day at a time and try not to over-extend in the other areas of your life.
You mentioned not being able to cry. Do you feel the need to cry? If you do and you still can't, maybe watching a movie that will bring those feelings out in you. Listening to music that both you and your Mom listened to or even watching a TV program that you both watched together. I personally don't think that not crying is either good or bad. We go through so many different phases/stages while grieving and it's so different for each of us. I will add though, that "trying hard not to think about it" is not helping you to cope with her loss. Let yourself feel...everything and just know that it's OK. You lost your precious Momma and it's such a tragic loss so please be ever so gentle and kind with yourself right now.
If you used to draw and have no inspiration at this time, maybe it's not the time to get back into it. You'll know when it's time. It will come naturally!
What were the activities you enjoyed while your Mom was still alive? Do you have good friends that you can spend time with and that understand that you need to talk about your Mom and all of the feelings you're carrying around?
We're here to listen whenever you want to talk about her! Take it slow as the waves of grief have a way of 'sneaking-up-on-us', especially if we're trying to swim against it's mighty current. I ran against the wind for so long that I became totally exhausted. Take care of 'you!'
Have you thought about starting a journal? It's very helpful and can release a lot of emotions that we weren't even conscious of.
Thanks for sharing how you've been doing and know I'll be thinking about you!
((((((((((((Mommysbabygirl))))))))))))))
My Love,
Terry