Author Topic: FEELING OVERWHELMED  (Read 4092 times)


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« on: December 22, 2006, 08:53:06 PM »
  Feeling very overwhelmed.  My family is coming tomorrow and I am trying to keep it all together.  My oldest son graduated from college last weekend.  I am so proud of him.  He does not live at home.  My son Sean is almost 21 and a Junior in college.  He is leaving the day after Christmas to go to study abroad.  He will be studying in Rome and then doing a field school in Greece.  He will be gone until July.  I wasn't suppose to have an empty nest.  Two years ago I was a mother of 5 and married.  Today I am a mother of three - one in heaven and two out of the house.  I live with a friend that I am so very very grateful for.   Still I am scared.  What will I do with such an empty home.  No kids to talk to.  I've been a mom almost all my adult life.  They don't really need me anymore.  I'm feeling scared, overwhelmed, insecure, sad, depressed and already lonely. 

I know that I will get through this, but today is just one of those days that I feel like I am on overdrive and I am going to crash and burn. 

I miss Christian so so much.   He should be looking forward to graduating from high school and going to college.  Going to prom and having a girlfriend.  I walked by the Tuxedo store in the mall today where my other two boys got their tuxes for prom and I was so sad knowing that I wouldn't take Christian to get his first tux.  I guess I'm pissed!!!! 

Enough of my whining.  I needed to vent.  Thanks for listening. 

My oldest son David.

Middle son Sean

And of course Christian


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« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2006, 08:26:32 AM »
Dear Paula,

First I must say how handsome all of your boys are!

I think I will be going through the same thing with an empty house soon, and it already seems very lonely. 

I have a hard time expressing my feelings, that is why I don't usually post much, but still come here every day.

Know that I would give you the biggest hug, and maybe it would make us both feel good!


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Traci's Graduation picture 2004

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« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2006, 12:17:57 PM »
Paula I understand and wish I had words of comfort. It's just another thing to adjust to. I know what you mean you've always been a mother taking care of your kids then suddenly it's just you. My daughter is 29 and Taylor was 14 would have been 16 right now and I was not ready for empty nest. It takes a lot of adjusting finding out who you are and what you like , I'm starting to. Somedays I think I'm doing okay and others i'm back at that lost "who am I " stage. Start thinking of things you liked to do before you had kids, I know that is a hard one. Or things you always wanted to learn and know. It's a whole new life and I wish you the best, just know  I understand and I care.


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« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2006, 02:55:34 PM »
First of all you certainly made some good looking boys!  You should be very proud of them and their accomplishments. 

I do know how you feel cause Philip was also my baby of the family.  One day I was a mom and the next an empty nester.  While Melissa still lived at home when Philip died it was like she didn't.  She was in school, worked and I rarely saw her.  My oldest had already been out of the house for a while and then Melissa was out about a year after Philip died.  Being a mom is what I was all about, it was the one thing in life I thought I did pretty well.

I can say that now I do like my empty nest.  Yes, it does get lonely sometimes but I'm finding out more often than not I do like my alone time which I never had before.  My husband works 10-12 hour days so I'm by myself a lot.  It was struggle at first, I didn't really know how I fit in this world.  Who the heck am I?  I'm finding my place but I still have times when I slide back and wonder "who I am."

One thing my therapist suggested and it has helped was finding a creative side of me.  You know when you are busy raising kids, you don't have time for you much less a creative side.  But, I'm working on that and discovering things I like to do and finding I'm not bad at it.  I do some mosaic work and now trying my hand at scrapbooking.

Deep breaths and baby steps, its all we can do.



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« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2006, 06:34:09 PM »
boy did you say it all, overwhelmed, ,  this is my first christmas with out Josh, i am so lost and confused.... I have always did Christmas at my house I loved to bake and get things ready, last year my daughter lived in oklahoma with her husband and she wasn't  home, i was so said and depressed and i think i must have called her a thousand times....... shes back in Baytown now and i am so thankful, I told my husband that this year  if we have to do christmas that i wanted just him, myself, my  2 daughters, my son in law and my grandson.. thats it no one else... well he has a hard time saying no to his family so now we have them coming over and i dont want to see them....  I want my Josh here so bad, i don't know how to do this.... I can't pretend to smile any more because of all the tears.... I can't pretent to enjoy Christmas, when i dont want to be here.... I love my girls and would do anything for them, but its to hard to pretend... I can't call Josh like i did Brittany last year...its so damn unfair...

The only ray of hope i get is sometimes my grandson RORY 19 months will be laughing and looking the other way or some loud music will be playing and he'll start dancing and pointing and i'll ask him what and he said  "OSH"    he loved his uncle josh and i know that Josh is around playing with him and that makes me smile only for a moment than i wounder why cant i see him...

sorry for venting,
just wanted to say I understand  and i wish the very best as my heart goes out to everyone here...
sending hugs love virgie  JOSH'S MOM
« Last Edit: December 23, 2006, 10:18:24 PM by momofwatsonx »


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« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2006, 07:49:53 AM »
Please know i will bw thinking of you and i know how stressful it can be. I had everyone for Thanksgiving and amazingly i enjoyed it this year. We were together. Going home tonigh to spend Christmas Eve with my mom in Nursing home.  It is Just me and my husband at home and i enjoy the quiet. sending hugs LaVonne


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« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2006, 01:57:19 PM »
First, I want to tell you how handsome your boys are.  I understand how you are feeling.  I like being by myself a lot these days.  Know that I care and will be holding you close to my heart.