JC,
I'm sorry you lost your wife. Also, sorry I never saw this post until now. I was very much the same as you describe after my husband's death. It does get better, but I am sure that is also on an individual time table. It's been over four years for me, and I'm not sure I'll ever get back to the organized task oriented mind I used to have.
The line about the puppy was so funny and appropriate. I think that gave us all a laugh and shows how important a sense of humor can be in getting us through heart-wrenching, all- consuming pain. Some of which I have just had tonight. For some reason I remembered a time when I came upstairs to hear my husband wimpering, setting on the bed, trying to cry. He was never able to really cry. When I asked him what was worng he just asked" Why does everything always have to be so hard for me?". It just broke my heart then and it just did now. My husband was the sweetest, gentlest person, who was so loving and never would hurt another person, and yet God allowed him to have two brain illness, The cancer took every last function he had. It stripped him bit by bit of his normal abilities until at last it stripped him of his life. I will never be able to understand why he had to be hurt in this way, nor why I have to keep reliving these moments and being broken all over again. If it wasn't for my sense of humor and my sweet little cat I don't think I could keep making it.
I hope the rest of you are doing better than I tonight. Just a really bad thing to remember and some difficult and discouraging news has me feeling so down. I am really greatful that I can still come here and spill and least some of my guts sometimes...oh, look, there's that puppy again.
Peace and Healing,
mousewife