Author Topic: Worldwide Candle Lighting December 12th  (Read 1855 times)

Terry

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Worldwide Candle Lighting December 12th
« on: December 09, 2010, 01:35:01 PM »


A reminder that the Worldwide Candle Lighting for all children who have died is December 12th at 7pm! The link will take you to their (TCF) website and if you haven't been to one yet, can check to see where yours will be held this year. The candles are provided and you need only bring your child's/children's pictures.

In our town, we all join around 4pm and bring snacks and something warm to drink...coffee, hot chocolate and it's always wonderful meeting and sharing our children with poems, stories and the most beautiful sound comes when your child's name is called out....then the mic get's passed around and it's such a beautiful way to remember them on this very special night.

If you're not attending, a candle in the window will shine bright in their honor just as nicely!

((((((( Holding you all close this Holiday Season! )))))))

Thinking of our beautiful, precious children,
With Love,
Terry

WendyRN

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Re: Worldwide Candle Lighting December 12th
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2010, 03:03:37 PM »
Terry, I was just about to post this myself, so thanks for the reminder.  Until this year, I didn't feel I was ready or could cope with being around so much additional sadness and grief.  Somehow I thought I would be more "exposed", I would have to take off the mask that I have become so accustomed to wearing after 40 months.  But I have been thinking this was this year I would try.  I need it.  I need something. 

Unfortunately, there isn't a Compassionate Friends in my area and it means a bit of a drive.  The Canadian website lost its webmaster in the middle of a re-do and the site is very skimpy -  not even mentioning the candlighting ceremonies.  But there are Chapters and phone numbers available so if anybody from Canada is interested, call your closest chapter for information. 

I have been searching for, I don't know, the meaning of life????.  Thinking that I need to give my life over to something Keith would be proud of.  Trying to keep on God's good side (have to balance to books......as I often tell him of my anger toward him!)  Maybe I could start a Compassionate Friends chapter where I live?  I know that through my own losses, I have discovered how many others have lost children too.  How many others who continue with their shattered lives, searching for elusive happiness, some hope in our hopelessness, real joy in our hearts.  This site is very helpful and I read often, not participating as often as I used to.  But I think I'm ready for some face to face interaction.  As is my style, I tend to withdraw inward.  I've never seen a psychologist, never had therapy of any kind, or joined a support group.  Refused medications.  I am big on recommending this help for others but have been unable to participate in any form myself.  I think its time.

In our so very busy and stressful lives at this time of year, if you find it meaningful and can't or don't want to join a group lighting ceremony....light a candle at 7 p.m. (local time, December 12) in memory of your child and know the 24 hour wave of light honouring our children will be seen by the Heavens "transcending all ethnic, cultral, religious, and political boundaries"(from CF website.)

Love and peace to all,

Wendy, Keith's mom


Terry

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Re: Worldwide Candle Lighting December 12th
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2010, 11:30:23 PM »

Until this year, I didn't feel I was ready or could cope with being around so much additional sadness and grief.  Somehow I thought I would be more "exposed", I would have to take off the mask that I have become so accustomed to wearing after 40 months.  But I have been thinking this was this year I would try.  I need it.  I need something.
 
I reached this same point, Wendy and thanks for the reminder as it get's pretty easy around the Holiday's to "slip" and I need to remind myself how hard I've worked to reach this point in my life. Yes, taking off that mask. Trashing that mask...permanantly is such a weight lifted. It was for me.
I have been searching for, I don't know, the meaning of life????.  Thinking that I need to give my life over to something Keith would be proud of.  Trying to keep on God's good side (have to balance to books......as I often tell him of my anger toward him!)  Maybe I could start a Compassionate Friends chapter where I live?  I know that through my own losses, I have discovered how many others have lost children too.  How many others who continue with their shattered lives, searching for elusive happiness, some hope in our hopelessness, real joy in our hearts. 

The meaning of life. I have asked what more do I need to do? I am always called to do something more and I do it, whatever it may be and whether I unerstand it at the time or not, I do it and have never had regrets. I know whatever direction you choose, your heart will not lead you astray. It's a good heart! :)

I did want to share with anyone reading that although attending the candlelighting ceremony and especially early in my grief with Jeff, was painful and sad, it was no sadder than I had already been feeling. Today, after almost 8 years, I find the joy in the loving hugs we all exchange to be so uplifting. To be surrounded by so many who are feeling the same way is a feeling that's hard to put into words. It's a warm and peaceful feeling and no longer one of fear and deep sadness as it was in the earlier years. And, being able to stand before a crowd of compassionate faces to talk about my chlidren...is priceless. Nowhere else am I able to do this.

Thanks for this post, Wendy!

Love to you. Love to all!

Terry

 


Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Worldwide Candle Lighting December 12th
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2010, 08:04:34 PM »
Oh Terry and Wendy; you answered a lot of heaviness I have been feeling and wondering. I lit candles for Taylor Caleb and every one of our precious loved 4ever children. The lights of our candles had to have shown up to the heavens. I just feel it. My grandaughter Tristin who is ten was here with me that night spending the night. She was moved to tears when I told her about our kids.  She has a very special heart for those that are sad; I believe it's called an old soul, as Annie told me. I love you all and feel so close to each of you and every one of our kids , they love us, still, even more now, maybe because they are free ; I dont' know... I just feel it. Christmas has brought about more sadness in this 6th year almost to the point of being frozen in time, words, thoughts and especially actions. I got a tree up this year ( I have April my daughter, Tris 10 and Ems 4) so I believe they deserve all of me (what's left) always and especially holidays. I feel like an empty shell right now, but so full of love that wants and needs to get out. Well, Tris wrote a paper to Taylor and Dan for me and Annie; its really so beautiful from her little old soul heart <3 Id love to share it sometime.  I will try my best (which isn't always so good) to get on more and help others and help myself by being with the only people in the world that "get it". For now... Love you all... Bren

Terry

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Re: Worldwide Candle Lighting December 12th
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2010, 11:08:28 PM »
Brenda,

Thank You for lighting the candles for our children and I feel the same as you, that they are precious and forever loved!! I've always felt such a closeness to each and every one of our children here.

That was so sweet of Tris and you're right about them all deserving the love in that big, warm heart of yours!! They're all blessed to have you in their lives! WE'RE blessed here, to have you in our lives! I've always loved you and "baby doll" dearly! You are my family as all are here and I am grateful beyond words to have had your love and support over these very, very difficult years!

I know our children see us, for all of the energy from our love HAS to shine brightly, as you shared...in the heavens!!!

Thanks, Bren! Nice message!!

My love,
Terry


Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Worldwide Candle Lighting December 12th
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2010, 04:26:17 PM »
(((((((((((((Terry)))))))))))))))))))) I love you too!!  love, Bren ,and of course :) my baby doll Taylor .

Terry

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Re: Worldwide Candle Lighting December 12th
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2010, 12:59:04 AM »
:)