Author Topic: Divorce over the holidays~  (Read 6383 times)

angelicmom27

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Divorce over the holidays~
« on: November 20, 2010, 06:43:30 PM »
I know alot of people face this changelle every day. but DIVORCE seems so overwhelming becoming a single mom of three boys. being left for another woman. The overwhelming feeling that i wasnt ever good enough that i was just a second best till he found someone more to his likly tho yes we were together 10 yrs.. hes throwing it away all before the holidays and walking away to go to her. I want to hate him so much and yet i love him and wish this wasnt happening, i still care. Even after all the pain he is cont. to put me and the boys thru saying he loves her and she has things that i could never be or want to be. I feel meaningless, moving to another state. having no family but my in laws. which i feel like the kids will always have the rights but being an ex wife what does that really make me to his parents. I dont expect to be held in the same light. but at the moment they are so shocked and upset that hes doing this that they are here for me and not even speaking to my soon to be ex..
the worse part of this is i just have this gut feeling maybe its me thinking too highly. but i feel like that what hes going to isnt going to  last its going to be nice for a while then wear off and he will regret his choices leaving his kids a wife of 10yrs. and then what. what do i do then. knowing his so this and that and with whom ever.  we have had a changelling last two years and it was starting to turn around but not in time for him. he wasts the eaiser lesss stressful life the life that yes is hard when u have kids and sturgllle with life. so sure someone with no kids and just her self to worry about who wount want that.
so lost just so lost. and scared

Terry

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Re: Divorce over the holidays~
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2010, 11:20:07 AM »
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this right now and I know how sad it will be for your children. I would shower them with more love than I even imagined I had in my heart. I know they will be fine. They have a good Momma!

Love,
Terry

angelicmom27

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Re: Divorce over the holidays~
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2010, 01:04:10 PM »
yeah thats what i plan on doing focus on them i dont start school till jan 15th so over the holidays i plan to just be mom. and get thru them. and try to help them thru this as well as get myself thru it. i just feel so much like shuting down, closing off the world. It's almost like i dont want life to go on. I know i need to for my kids. but knnowing that my husband is really moving on and already in a relationship its like not even a glance back and what he is leaving.  it really takes alot out of you.

SarahW

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Re: Divorce over the holidays~
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2010, 06:54:47 PM »
yeah thats what i plan on doing focus on them i dont start school till jan 15th so over the holidays i plan to just be mom. and get thru them. and try to help them thru this as well as get myself thru it. i just feel so much like shuting down, closing off the world. It's almost like i dont want life to go on. I know i need to for my kids. but knnowing that my husband is really moving on and already in a relationship its like not even a glance back and what he is leaving.  it really takes alot out of you.

I'm sure it does take a lot out of you, so be good to yourself.

I know what you mean about how you have to go on for your kids.  When I my husband died, it was my son that kept me going.  I felt like climbing into a hole and staying there, but I couldn't.  And that turned out to be a good thing.

You'll find the courage you need.  Let us know how it goes.
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. -- Emily Dickinson

You were a gift

angelicmom27

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Re: Divorce over the holidays~
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2010, 01:04:38 AM »
Thanks, I plan on updating often, this is like my safe place to talk. when we actually part ways for the final time soon. then its gonna hit me and i,m gonna need to sleep for days. And i will live with the gut feeling that someday he will regret this choice, and relize all he gave up for a risky relationship and a different life style. I told him i really hope it was all worth it. i really do.

AC Mom

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Re: Divorce over the holidays~
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2010, 10:16:59 AM »
Divorce is always difficult to deal with.  Going thru it during the holidays seems to make it worse.  Its been 7 years sinse my husband at the time, walked in from work on December 14th, and informed me he was moving out.  He said it was because I had changed too much sinse AC died.  Reality was, as I found out a few days later, he had someone else.

It was devastating.  Everyone is right, concentrate on making/keeping your kids happy.  I had no children, but I had my neices and nephews, and they got me thru it.  I also decided to move out of state.  My nephew helped me, with the understanding, I would get him back to his home as soon as I was settled.  He decided to stay. 

You will be alright, and so will your kids, it will take time. 

Love and Hugs
Peggy

angelicmom27

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Re: Divorce over the holidays~
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2010, 02:09:35 PM »
Thanks AC-
yes it does make it so much harder knowing that there is someone else that i was so easily replaceable. That all the ups and downs i will go thru about this loss he will not be even touching that pain or heartache, since he will have a bright future with this other women with no responiables compared to life with three kids and one with health issues. knowing that he will be able to move on and see no problems with his descions or choices. His parents both agree within less then a year he will come back to me. What i will say or do at that point i dont know. but he doesnt do well with being ALONE. It's hard because i dont want to move on i wanted my life how i had it. even with the ups and downs. I keep reminding him your choices may seem great right now but facing all that you have caused me and the kids and cont to do so may be something to stick with us forever and i would hate that it would be a wall that he couldnt get over or down or whatever with his kids with me i dont see any future. If i,m this easy to replace for the second time why wouldnt a third be just as easy. I am trying to focus on my future with the kids. and getting thru this time and making the best of a new path to create. But with every day he comes with more demands from the next the lastesst is he wants to get our 7 yr a cell phone to call daddy any time he wants i said not an opition waaste ur time and money but not one moment would it be used.

sevenofwands

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Re: Divorce over the holidays~
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2010, 10:25:17 AM »
Angelic:

I hope you are looking after yourself.  I think from reading your post that you do know the type of irresponsible person your soon to be ex-husband is, and his total lack of empathy, not to mention his poor grasp of reality.  It is all so painful and awful right now for you.  You have your children, and their love, and you probably know full well (maybe known for some time) that your soon to be ex-husband is not the kind of person who will ever be able to stay it for the long haul, with anyone. 

Look after yourself.
Seven