While the date of my sister Jori's death was November 29, it will always be remembered as the "Saturday after Thanksgiving". Obviously, that date is fast approaching. For several months I was having a VERY difficult time . . . VERY sad, angry, etc.
Now, over the past couple of weeks, I am feeling more numb than anything else. There is an overarching sadness to my being, but it is not the 'pain' I've had nor that I expect to have. Some may think this is lucky, but it is making me CRAZY. I feel like I'm not 'giving Jori her due'.
You should know, on a very personal level, that I have been taking meds for a while to try to get my emotions under control. When I was going through this last 'rough patch', we 'adjusted my meds'. I don't know if this numbness is a result of that . . . or something else completely. If it's the meds, I don't know if I want them.
Do I sound crazy?? Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Now I'm freaking out because I'm not freaking out . . . just can't win!