I feel so bad for you and your family in the loss of your brother. Your feelings of anger are totally understandable and right. You should be mad for him being selfish taking his life, not thinking of all of you who love and miss him so much. I'm sorry you are feeling this fresh pain, but it doesnt matter that it was 5 years ago or 5 weeks, 5 months or 5 minutes---you still lost someone you love.
My brother was killed 7 months ago, pain is still fresh and there in my face every day. The way he was killed leads me to believe that maybe he chose to die on March 5, 2010, in the car wreck. The crash site is not dangerous or curvy, so i'm wondering, did he choose? I wont know, unless I talk to the other guy involved, which I have been considering. I need answers, and may still get them.
I'm sorry that you wont ever get answers as to why your brother did what he did. My prayers are with you, and know you have a sounding board here at webhealing with all of us---Terry, who is really great, and all the rest of us. Take care.