Hello to all and thank you for your kind and encouraging words. It's still so hard to believe sometimes that my brother is really gone. I am so lost sometimes. I still do everything I need to do, but when I think about the fact that I will never see him again, I get this panicked feeling. I almost feel dizzy. My mother and I talked today and she started crying. I hate to see her so sad. I wish there was something I could do to help.
I was trying to organize a fundraiser for my sister in law and she got mad at me. It's a long story, but I was only trying to help and she kind of went a little nuts on me. I'm trying to remember that she is very angry right now and not take it personally, then I get nervous that she will keep me away from the kids. I think I remind her too much of him...
On top of everything, I had to put my dog down a couple of days ago. He was suffering and I had to let him go. I had him for 14 years and he was my best friend. I miss him so much and am so sad at all these losses. Two of my best friends are also dying of cancer right now.
How do I keep myself sane? I feel like I'm a bad person because these things are happening...I know it's irrational, but I can't help it. I guess I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Missy