Author Topic: Feeling down  (Read 1456 times)

missingmyarm

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Feeling down
« on: October 17, 2010, 07:48:35 PM »
Hello to all and thank you for your kind and encouraging words.  It's still so hard to believe sometimes that my brother is really gone.  I am so lost sometimes.  I still do everything I need to do, but when I think about the fact that I will never see him again, I get this panicked feeling.  I almost feel dizzy.  My mother and I talked today and she started crying.  I hate to see her so sad.  I wish there was something I could do to help. 
I was trying to organize a fundraiser for my sister in law and she got mad at me.  It's a long story, but I was only trying to help and she kind of went a little nuts on me.  I'm trying to remember that she is very angry right now and not take it personally, then I get nervous that she will keep me away from the kids.  I think I remind her too much of him...
On top of everything, I had to put my dog down a couple of days ago.  He was suffering and I had to let him go.  I had him for 14 years and he was my best friend.  I miss him so much and am so sad at all these losses.  Two of my best friends are also dying of cancer right now.
How do I keep myself sane?  I feel like I'm a bad person because these things are happening...I know it's irrational, but I can't help it.  I guess I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Missy

browneyedgirl

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Re: Feeling down
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2010, 09:13:24 AM »
Hi Missy ~

I am so sorry for all the heartache you are experincing right now. 

Yes, you do have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and we are all here to help you along the way.  Sometimes it's so darn hard, I know. 


Take care of yourself.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

helene

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Re: Feeling down
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2010, 12:00:53 PM »
Hi Missy,

I too am very sorry to hear about the suffering you are going through during your grieving for the loss of your brother and also for your beloved pet dog. I have two cats so I know about how much we love our pets too. I lost my sister in July and although she was not married so I do not have an in-law, I come from a very broken family and there's little to no communication between my remaining two siblings and my mother. The fundraiser that you were trying to organize for your brother sounds like a noble and very kind thing for to do in his memory. Perhaps in time, as your sister-in-law has more time for her own grieving she may listen to you on again on the matter. It sounds as if these are early days for you and things are very raw. It is always hard to say the right thing to someone who is really hurting. My sister who just died suffered a lot from a variety of severe emotional problems but in the midst of that she wrote some beautiful poetry. I thought you might like to read one of her poems. It's in the next post I send to you because I think I've ran out of room in this one! Helene


Helene & Lesley

helene

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Re: Feeling down
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2010, 12:04:08 PM »
My sister Lesley's  poem:

And what conclusions can we come to
as another day rolls by
sandwiched between so many ponderings
there's really no reason why
days like leaves turn to dust
and lives, they end there too,
bright season flowing on
your fleeting passion we trust
thus like a song we'll carry on
until the tune is done
the music our incentive
and belief all things are one
so come away to a land of dreams,
and rest a questing mind
it's questions will subside
in the hope of what we'll find.


Helene & Lesley