Hi JustMark,
First, let me say I am very sorry that you have lost your wife. I know it is so hard. I still miss my husband, but, it is much easier than it was. In March it will be 11 years for me. I used to post here a lot, mostly to try and encourage others, but also reading other's posts helped me a lot. It took me about five years before I could even think about the possibility of someone else. It's not a guilt thing. He wanted me to find someone else if I could. But I waited a long time for God to bring the two of us together, so I think he knew it would not be easy for me to find the right person. I'm quite sure however, that he never would have thought it would be for the reason that it is.
I appreciate the fact that you offered a comment. Though this is not like the pain of grieving, it is painful to find that you are not valued by your male cohorts.
I live in Illinois, but, this is a widespread issue both in the U.S. and in other countries from everything I have read. Online most of the men specify that they are looking for women 10-30 years younger.
I have only recently met a man who is 60, what I consider an appropriate age for me, though I am 63. But even he as expressed an interest in 40 somethings. That really hurts. None of my female friends are having any success either. One friend is 57 and she is dating a 67 year old because he pursued her and he was pretty much her only option. She does care for him, but she would have preferred someone her own age.
This is just the way it is. I don't understand why. Especially when a guy is a Christian. I thought that men of faith would see value in us the way God does. But I have found this not to be so.
I'm sure there are still some men who would prefer to date someone within five years either way, but I have never encountered one.
It is very hard for me to live this life, and think of a future devoid of any male perspective or interaction. I had such a great relationship with my husband. He was my soulmate and my best friend. I would love to be loved again, and have someone to grow old with, but even a good friend would be great.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to post. That was a kindness. I hope your days free of sorrow and heartache will become more frequent as you continue on this journey.
Peace and Healing,
mousewife