Author Topic: Introductions thread  (Read 74906 times)

Tinabeth

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #60 on: April 26, 2011, 12:16:18 PM »
Arthur - I'm very sorry for your loss.  Tinabeth
Jay "Jaybo" Buford 1.28.1963 - 2.17.2011
My love - my best friend - my life - for 29 years.

arthur

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #61 on: April 26, 2011, 04:17:19 PM »
Hi my name is Arthur..I was going to write an introuction of myself and my wonderful wife Maureen who died on 041411 ..but I can't do it today. The memories still too painful for me to recount without losing it. I just want all you to know I really appreciate the compassion shown to me when I responded to the ADD thread. I'll try to do this again later when the wounds are not so fresh.
i want to thank browneyedgirl and TInabeth for their compassion for my inability to introduce my wife Maureen who died on 041411. I really appreciate the sincerity of your support. So here is my introduction.

Hi everyone my name is Arthur, and I lost the love of my life for 14 years, Maureen, on april 14,2011.     Maureen was 56 years old when she died. For most of her life Maureen suffered with Spinal-Muscular Atrophy, a crippling disease of the nerves that had a childhood onset and progressed throughout the rest of her life. By the time Maureen died, she had alot of difficulty feeding herself, needed fulltime help in dressing and washing herself,and getting herself dressed. Maureen lived in a very expensive wheelchair as she lost the ability to walk many years ago. Maureen worked her whole life as a vocational rehab counselor for the state, a career she loved. Maureen helped mentally challenged people find and keep jobs. She loved it when she got a client a job. It was hard work for her with her disability, but it was one she loved. One of her clients was so grateful for her help that he composed and performed music for her and called it "A song for Maureen" which he put on a cd and gave to me at the funeral recepetion. 
     I was a husband,friend, and caregiver for Maureen for most of our marriage. In the days before her death I was particularly worried about Maureen as she was getting less and less sleep and her disability was exacerbated by exhaustion. Maurren was extremely intelligent and while I handled the menial chores of our life, she handled all our finances and taxes.  She was preparing a condensed list of our expemses for our 2010 taxes for our accountant, which was quite an accomplishment given our huge list of expenses, a fact I did not appreciate until her death.  I went to work on 041311 worried about her severe weakness . I remember saying to her, that someone besides the daily aide we hired for her bathroom needs should be with her all day. She refused, of course. Maurreen was an independent spirit.  I went to work and her aide came, helped Maureen, and left at 0315pm. According to him Maureen was fine when he left her and in good spirits.  I called her at 0445pm and got no response and left a message; I remember feeling uneasy by her not answering the phone, as she did most of the time, but I thought she was taking a nap from her exhaustion. When I got home at 7pm I found her slumped over in front of the fireplace, her eyes hald shut and glazed over, spittle coming out of her mouth. I tried very hard giving her mouth to mouth resusitation, but she was unresponsive to my efforts, and remained that way until her official death on 041411. I called 911, and they asked whether to resusitate ot not. I said yes, & they  got her heart pumping again but on a high degree of support. Maureen was unresponsive the entire time and I was told that she had heart trouble, and as the night wore on in the hospital intensive care unit and the tests came back one after another, the doctors told me that Maureen had had a massive heart attack and that if she ever recovered she would have severe brain damage.  Maureen's heart faded gradually  throughout the nite and she died early in the morning on 041411, but it was apparent from her lack of resposiveness the entire time that her brain was severely damaged or dead in the 3hr,45 min time span when the heart attack occurred between 0315p-7pm.
      So here I am, widowed and lost. If I could have died instead of her I would have given my life for hers. I would do anything to see her smile again.  Maureen loved dancing,  and she always said that when she died she would be dancing,  She is dancing now. God bless her!



browneyedgirl

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #62 on: April 27, 2011, 12:07:59 PM »
Arthur ~  How heartbreaking, I am so sorry......she sounds like such a special lady.

Please take good care of yourself, and come back and let us know how you are doing. 

I know Maureen is dancing in Heaven for you.

Sending love and strength. 
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

johnkmurray

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #63 on: May 02, 2011, 09:45:41 AM »
So here I am, widowed and lost. If I could have died instead of her I would have given my life for hers. I would do anything to see her smile again.  Maureen loved dancing,  and she always said that when she died she would be dancing,  She is dancing now. God bless her!

Amen brother.

John

Mandy

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Introduction - Peter
« Reply #64 on: May 15, 2011, 09:44:41 AM »
Hello

Just an introduction. Haven't had chance to look into site enough to see whether site is mainly US based, but grief & loss is universal, obviously, so hope you won't mind me here.

I lost my dear partner, Pete, 5 weeks ago to lung cancer. We were together approx one year, and our relationship I feel has been so devalued by his family (not his friends, who really knew him) for that reason.

He had been in remission for about 3 years and he was convinced he had beaten it, but the vile thing came back in his brain and spine in January, and elsewhere later. They tried to treat it, but...

Frankly, the story is still too painful for me to recount right now. Particularly the last week when we were together 24 hrs in the hospital. And as everyone here has suffered, I shouldn't think you need me to. So hard is so many things, but... he and I were everything to each other, everything. We didn't write things down, we had no idea we needed to (we had no idea it would be so horribly quick, Pete thought he had at least months...)

I'm sorry. I'm making such a ridiculously bad job of this introduction. I miss him so much. And feel that his family, who clearly never really knew him, are trampling all over our relationship. I'm sorry, this is so disjointed, I know. I just had to make contact...

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #65 on: May 15, 2011, 11:25:40 AM »
Mandy,

I'm very sorry to read of Pete's death. Your Introduction is just fine and Thank You for sharing your story with us.

Welcome to our Webhealing family where others have also experienced devastating losses and are here sharing about them and struggling to learn how to live again without them in their lives.

I'm also sorry to hear of the family issues and resentments. They are all too common, unfortunately and so sad when it occurs.

Come back and tell us more about your precious Pete as you are comfortable doing so. Don't worry about being PC, that's not important here. Just know we care, very much and will be here for you.

Sending you a big hug ((((((((((((((((((Mandy))))))))))))))))

My Love,
Terry

Mandy

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #66 on: May 17, 2011, 12:47:04 PM »
Thank you so much for your very kind welcome, Terry. I was in a particularly black place that night and your warm words of understanding meant a great deal. I am in England, happened on this site when looking up references to George Anderson (yes, I am considering a telephone session, although it would necessitate remortgaging my home... ok, not quite...). It was good to find somewhere where people can share their feelings and I hope it's ok for me to be here and interact with you all. It's weird. I have never felt this kind of alone, even though friends and family are about. I was walking around the supermarket tonight and it was so wrong. It's one of the last places we were together, and I could only feel - he should be here, he must be around the corner. Why are they here if he isn't? Why are the same things on the shelves? I'm sorry, I feel like I'm bleating on and feeling sorry for myself when you all have suffered at the very least as badly...

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #67 on: May 17, 2011, 02:21:00 PM »
Your very welcome, Mandy. I'm happy to be here. I sure do understand being in a supermarket (anywhere, really) and wondering how everything could be continuing as normal when my world was shattered. It takes such a long time to become comfortable again among others. Take it one day at a time and take care of yourself. Eat well...snack a lot. Drink plenty of water/fluids and try to do something physical. Rest as much as you are able to. It's so hard, I know.

I lived in Highgate and still have a dear friend that teaches at a Catholic School in Surrey....the scary mansion!! It really is a small world when we need one another so much. We seek others out who we hope can understand and we are closer than geography could ever bring us.

And, please don't ever feel that you are 'feeling sorry for yourself' because you are not. You are in pain over a great loss and you need to talk/share about it as much as you can. There is always someone here to listen. It is healthy to get all of these feelings out.

Thank you so much for your response and letting me know how you are doing.

((((((((((((((((((((Mandy))))))))))))))))))

Love,
Terry


browneyedgirl

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #68 on: May 17, 2011, 04:46:17 PM »
Mandy ~

Welcome to Webhealing....I am so very sorry for the loss of your Pete. 

You're doing just fine with your introductions and posts, after all, you have suffered a devestating loss. 

There are many people here who care and will listen to any feelings you would like to share. 

Feel free to start a new thread when you're ready if you wish. 

Sending love and light.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

chas

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #69 on: June 21, 2011, 04:47:53 PM »
My name is Charles and I am grieving for the loss of my beloved wife Joan. We were married 41 years, have two children and three grandchildren.

Joan died at Brigham and Women's hospital on May 10, 2011 after a two year battle with lung cancer.

When she drew her last breath I wanted it to be mine as well. Fortunately, my children were there for us both and I knew I couldn't deprive them of their father so soon after losing their mother. I almost resent their interference in keeping me from following her but I love them too much to do so and I understand they're suffering her loss as well.

I know from reading some of the posts in this forum that I have a long, long way to travel and that I can expect a lot of company on that road.

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #70 on: June 21, 2011, 05:13:13 PM »

Hi Charles,

I'm so very sorry to hear of your precious Joan's death. And, I'd like to welcome you to our Webhealing family where others here understand and are always here to listen.
Yes, it is a long journey but the weight is lifted just a bit (and bit by bit and step by step is how we make it) by sharing it with others.

I'm glad to hear that you have the support and love of your children and grandchildren. They will be a comfort.

Thank you for introducing yourself and sharing your story and please come back, when you are comfortable doing so and tell us more about Joan. I'd love to know everything you want to share about her. I know she was so special and will remain so.

Know we care here, very much.

Sending lots of hugs and love,

((((((((((((((((((((((((Charles))))))))))))))))))))))

Love,
Terry

SarahW

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #71 on: June 21, 2011, 06:18:18 PM »
My name is Charles and I am grieving for the loss of my beloved wife Joan. We were married 41 years, have two children and three grandchildren.

Joan died at Brigham and Women's hospital on May 10, 2011 after a two year battle with lung cancer.

When she drew her last breath I wanted it to be mine as well. Fortunately, my children were there for us both and I knew I couldn't deprive them of their father so soon after losing their mother. I almost resent their interference in keeping me from following her but I love them too much to do so and I understand they're suffering her loss as well.

I know from reading some of the posts in this forum that I have a long, long way to travel and that I can expect a lot of company on that road.

Best wishes, Charles.

My sympathies for your loss.  It does help to share with those who understand what you are going through.  I'm sorry you have had to join us in this journey, but you are not alone.
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. -- Emily Dickinson

You were a gift

Zylen

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #72 on: June 21, 2011, 10:35:10 PM »
...
« Last Edit: August 21, 2013, 10:05:50 AM by Zylen »

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #73 on: June 21, 2011, 11:53:34 PM »

I'm so sorry, Kevin you have lost your wife and soul mate. So recent, you have my heart. Welcome to our Webhealing family.

All of your feelings are understandable right now as a devastating loss plays havoc with our hearts and our bodies. Try to take care of yourself, the best you can. I know it's not easy.

Please take everything one day at a time or even an hour at a time....whatever works for you. With your son leaving, I'm sure the days ahead will be rough and please know that we are here for you. Come on anytime to vent any of your feelings or to share about your precious wife. We will be listening.

Is there any way that you could take a leave of absence from work? I know that's not always possible.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. That is difficult to do in these early days/weeks.

Sending hugs, support and understanding,

((((((((((((((((((((Kevin))))))))))))))))))

My Love,
Terry

browneyedgirl

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #74 on: June 22, 2011, 09:08:31 AM »
My name is Charles and I am grieving for the loss of my beloved wife Joan. We were married 41 years, have two children and three grandchildren.

Joan died at Brigham and Women's hospital on May 10, 2011 after a two year battle with lung cancer.

When she drew her last breath I wanted it to be mine as well. Fortunately, my children were there for us both and I knew I couldn't deprive them of their father so soon after losing their mother. I almost resent their interference in keeping me from following her but I love them too much to do so and I understand they're suffering her loss as well.

I know from reading some of the posts in this forum that I have a long, long way to travel and that I can expect a lot of company on that road.

Dear Charles ~ I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife, Joan. 

Wecome to Webhealing.  I am sorry that you have to be here with us.  You will find many, loving, supportive people here. 

Please feel free to start a new thread telling us more about Joan if you wish.

Sending love and light.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven