Author Topic: Introductions thread  (Read 68869 times)

Bren777

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #105 on: August 21, 2015, 07:21:12 PM »
I'm not finding a place to introduce myself. Can someone direct me, please?

Bren777

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #106 on: August 21, 2015, 09:10:06 PM »
My name is Brenda. I searched for a group like this to tell my story and learn of others. My boyfriend of 2.5 years went to the other side three weeks ago today. It was completely unexpected. Still don't know cause of death. We had just gone out dancing, playing pool, etc. We came back to my house to turn in and I was making coffee for the next morning. When out of the blue, I hear him say, "I'll see you later." I never even turned around to look at him or ask him why he was leaving. I just assumed that I'd hurt his feelings somehow earlier while we were out. We didn't even hug, kiss, look at each other...nothing. That was not the norm!!! Next morning I texted him and no answer. I felt something strange and just got in my car and drove to his place. Found him dead on his bed. Cold as ice. Blue abd turning more blue. I called 911. But they said he'd been dead for at least 8 hours. That means he barely had time to get to his place from mine before he died. I feel lost and don't really want to be here. He did visit me in my sleep the night of his funeral. I thank God for that visit and can never forget it. He took me by my hand and showed me different areas of heaven where he is. It was indescribable! !!! He also showed me our dwelling. We have horses and three dogs. He wAS smiling and telling me how we can step into any of these beautiful places anytime we want. So, I know where he is and what's waiting for me. Oh, there was one other thing. There was nothing....nothing about sexuality. We were like innocent children who knew nothing about sex. Yet we were in love as deeply as always. I just want to be there. I don't want to go on day after dreadful day waiting and waiting. My toy Yorkie, Deucy has been with me 10 years. I'm his mommy. He doesn't know anyone else. I stay for him and wait.

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #107 on: August 22, 2015, 03:24:04 PM »

Hi Brenda - I'm so sorry for your loss. His death is so recent so please try to take care of yourself right now. Eat healthy snacks, get plenty of rest (even if you can't sleep), drink lots of water (stay hydrated) and try to get some exercise...walking is great.

Start a *New Topic* and that post will show up below with the others and you'll get to meet everyone on Spouse loss. They are all very supportive.

I'm glad you have Deucy. My dogs have saved me through all of my losses - their sweetness and their unconditional love.

Welcome to Webhealing. Post anytime, day or night - someone is always reading and responding.

Sending hugs. :love9:
Love,
Terry

LauraN

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #108 on: July 05, 2016, 05:19:25 PM »
Hi, my name is Laura,and I am new here. I lost my husband to prostate cancer which had spread to his liver. I had know him for 14 years,but only been married to him for 7 months. He and I fought this demon for 12 years. We tried everything possible. There were many Doctors visits,surgeries,chemo,radiation,blood transfusions ect. It may sound strange,but since he died I am not able to get rid of any of his things. He was in hospice at our home for 2 weeks before he died. Leading up to his death he had a bleeding episode,and I was alone with him. This was frighting,but I did manage to get the bleeding to stop after about 15 minutes. He died the next evening,and I keep replaying all the details in my mind. I am coping,but have no appetite. We would always eat together. Hospice didn't help me much. My family and I are upset about that.He died May 19th and already some people think I should get on with my life. Losing a partner is one of lifes most difficult and painful experiences. There are so many things we will never get to do together. i am numb. Life just continues on,and it is difficult for me to move with it.I feel I have one foot in the past with him and our memories,and one foot in the present trying to live without him. This is not my first loss. Both my father and mother are dead. I am coming to realize that death is part of life,and that we all must face it at sometime in our lives. When it arrives it is my worst nightmare come true. It takes away the joy of living,and every day just becomes about survival. it helps to be with people who understand what it is like. The pain is to powerful for me to deal with it alone. How do others here feel about death?

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #109 on: July 11, 2016, 07:23:37 PM »

Hi Laura,

I'm so sorry to read of your husband's death. It takes a lot of time and patience with ourselves after a loss as we're moving forward without them and the memory of them is what fills our hearts and brings us joy. I agree with you that life is never the same after a great loss. We learn to live with it, somehow.

Welcome to Webhealing. There are many members who can relate to how you're feeling. Start a new post down below where the members can see it and read it. There is a lot of support on these boards.

Hugs,
Terry

paul.1

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #110 on: July 14, 2016, 01:09:20 PM »
Hi to the site..... I am not the sort of man to talk about my feelings but here we go.

My name is Paul age 48 years old I sadly lost my Rock 5 weeks ago 7th June with a sudden heart attack  she was only 49 bless her we had been together since we was 14 years of age.

Now I am totally lost as I lost my Mother 10 years ago and she was there for me all the time when I was down now I have no one to talk to or lean on at this bad time.

sadly no one really talks in my family since my Mother passed away.  So I cant talk to them as they would gloat over my pain I am going through I hope some one out there will understand what I mean.



Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #111 on: July 14, 2016, 07:38:18 PM »

Hi Paul,

I'm very sorry to read that the love of your life has recently died. Welcome to Webhealing where others understand and can relate to having to live without their significant other.
Take care of yourself the best you can with eating healthy snacks, drinking plenty of water, getting exercise (even walking a few minutes everyday outside is good) and resting even if you can't sleep. Grieving takes a lot out of us and really does zap our energy levels.

Post anytime. Someone is always reading.

Hugs,
Terry

paul.1

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #112 on: July 15, 2016, 04:32:30 AM »
Thank you Terry for your reply and the kind words. But its the emptiness feeling lonely and much more my heads battered. 

LauraN

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #113 on: July 19, 2016, 03:08:09 PM »
Hi Paul,

I am new here also. So sorry to hear that you lost the love of your life. I understand completely because I did also on May19th. Grief is extremely hard to go through and almost impossible to do alone. I like you have been knocked off my feet,and feel my whole world has changed. I have been in shock for the last two months,and life felt unreal even as I was going through the motions of living it. What has kept me sane has been friends and family.  Joy has been practically absent in my life,but I know I must search for a way through this grief. Love will never leave your heart for your beloved,but gradually you will begin to move on without her. Life can be very cruel,and unfair. This I find hard to accept. It helps to let your grief out in what ever way you can. I write poetry and keep expressing my feelings through journaling. For me death brings up lots of soul searching. Death is a part of life,a very difficult and hurting part for those of us left behind. We can come out of grief a changed person,hopefully for the better. I have found on You Tube some powerful presentations on Death and Grief you might trying watching them. They are Ted Talks. Good luck,and safe passage as you travel the road through your grieving.

girlnamedbillie

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #114 on: August 08, 2016, 01:44:47 PM »
My name is Billie, and I'm a 28 year old widowed mother of 2 young children. We lost my husband on August 19,2015 and it was sudden.

My husband had medically retired from the Army June 7, 2015 after 12+ years of service. We were beginning our new life together without the Army's hold on my husband. We were terrified, anxious, and excited. We were married July 2, 2007 and I had been waiting for his retirement our entire relationship. I hated the lifestyle, I hated that he was put in danger during deployments, I worried my children would lose their father. But I still supported him every step of the way. It was his dream. 

My husband had been feeling ill and the VA neglected to get him an appointment. A week later my husband passed. It was a very traumatic experience. His flu-like symptoms had gotten worse so I was hurrying trying to get the kids ready for school so I could get him to the ER. Then he collapsed. I called 911 and I performed chest compressions until the ambulance arrived. I screamed for help and a neighbor came over to care for my children. I called my mother in law to let her know what was happening. She's a nurse, so she was going over the procedure with the paramedics to ensure they were doing everything they could. He was gone. I screamed, and screamed, and screamed, and screamed. There are still times I scream.

Autopsy stated that he passed due to an untreated pulmonary embolism. He was gone the moment he collapsed and had he been given treatment when he originally sought it, he'd still be with us. I'm dealing with a lot of anger towards the VA and I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive them. I find this to be unforgivable. I know most people say that forgiveness is for you, not them. But I can not give forgiveness. My 7 & 5 year olds have been left without their father and I lost the love of my life. My mother in law should have never had to go through this. His siblings should not have lost their older brother. All those years in service I spent worrying about my husband not coming home. I thought the danger was over. Then he's gone. 

I do what I have to in order to care for my children and pets. I moved to my mother in law's town and bought a home. She's not only been like a mother to me since my own mother passed, but I believe that she needs to be with my kids and vice versa. She's strong. So strong. There's no way I could do this without her. She's given me so much strength and I'm fighting to want to have a life. Not suicidal by any means, I'm fighting for motivation to live this life instead of just existing. I've lost family relationships because they don't understand. They expect me to just start over with a new relationship and forget the loss of my husband. All except for my brother. We've never had much of a relationship before. Something seems to have clicked between us. He's been there for me and hasn't tried to make me feel wrong. He's also the buffer for the rest of my family when they try to act as though I'm wrong for grieving.

I always have so much to say when it comes to opening my heart. Letting everything out is part of my process. I always feel as though I'm leaving something out and I can't even tell you how long I've sat here contemplating whether I should post this or not. The anniversary of his death is approaching and I have a lot to say. Otherwise it makes it harder to handle the grieving. Letting it out is a breath of fresh air. A weight lifted. Thank you for taking the time to read.

cmayes

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #115 on: September 16, 2016, 09:33:11 AM »
I'm new to this site, so not sure what to expect.  I'm here for two reasons.  One is personal the other is to help seniors deal with the loss of spouse.  I am an administrator for a senior center in Ohio and any information that I can use to help my seniors cope with the loss of a spouse is greatly appreciated. 

gbmulligan

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #116 on: October 15, 2016, 05:50:02 AM »
Hello Donna I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can tell on the site get there are a lot of good listeners. I only posted on the site once before but I do not really know what I was doing. Hopefully I got it right this time. I lost my helpmate almost 8 in a half years ago. She was the love of my life. Walking these almost 8 1/2 years without her has been so lonely and painful at times but it has changed over the years. Perhaps I've just gotten used to being alone. But I have found comfort in other things to. I just took a memorial fall walk that my wife and I used to do every year in the past few weeks I've given away the bulk of her clothing it took me a long time to do that. Slow healing. My wife Gail would always say I perseverate on things. Where she was so easily able to let things go. I wish she had not let me go . I pray for peace for you Donna and comfort in times of your sorrow and grief. Companions I know so well. But I have found some healing with time and my faith.I sense there are good listeners on the site. I hope you will take more advantage of that as I am hoping that I do  too. Sometimes that's all we need is for people to listen to us without judging. Yours Gerry

mjlasa

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #117 on: October 28, 2016, 06:56:10 AM »
Hello
My name is Michael. Im not sure if I'm doing this right. My wife Roxanne died Oct 9 after a long illness. I miss her terribly. I took care of her along with her sister for many years. Now I have no job. She was the toughest person i've ever known. She was my hero. Im not handling this well at all. Very scared. Very alone.

Beebs

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #118 on: October 29, 2016, 09:42:58 AM »
I'm not really sure what to say. I lost my fiancé October 12th and it's been the hardest thing I've ever been through.

mjlasa

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #119 on: October 29, 2016, 12:14:23 PM »
Beebs
As far as I can tell ( and i have no idea on how to use these threads etc) there is nothing that you have to say or not say. You lost your fiance three days after I lost my wife. You are suffering as we all are. We offer our love.
Michael